Category Archives: Musings from the laundromat
Musings from the Laundromat: Last muse of the Year
If I were ever going to be the person that wore their pajamas out in public, it would have been today. But I’m not and I didn’t.
Tossed and turned last night, with my tossing and turning only to be interrupted by brief and very odd, commercial length dreams. “This night of restlessness sponsored by ‘REM’.”
In between coughing and telling Butters to go lay down, I found myself helping someone find their small silver dog and sitting in on a table reading for a radio spot??
I’m not even going to bother trying to interpret those.
I’ve been awake (and I use that term loosely) for less than an hour and am now at my table after filling 3 washing machines.
I wanted to get here as early as possible so that I can go home and rest!
I’m still sick.
I tried to cheer myself up after it was clear I had to actually put clothes on this morning and announced to the dog “I’ll wear my pink underwear today!”
She didn’t much care – but I guess I thought a punch of secret color would put a little pep in my dragging step.
It hasn’t.
I’m pretty sure I look like a homeless person right now. A sick homeless person.
It hasn’t frightened anyone off so far though – in fact, two people struck up conversations with me while I was stuffing the machines with my offerings.
I should have coughed more.
That’s how I know (other than the uncontrollable coughing and general apathy) that I’m under the weather.
Any other day those people would have ended up in my blog – after I chatted their ears off and found out where they were from and what they did and who they loved and …. well – I suppose they’ve ended up in my blog anyway.
Let’s go back to before I got here.
Yeah – like that. Only, it was one 18 year-old child and I didn’t have my fun pink underwear on yet.
My son stood outside my bathroom, “Mom?”
“Yeah?”
“When are you going to do laundry?”
“Half an hour – why?”
Now, I was seriously thinking that because he was up so early maybe he had contracted my bug, OR, actually wanted to come with me.
No.
“Can you wake me up when you get back?”
Sigh.
He retreated to his wing of the house and I brushed my teeth and stepped on the scale.
Tangent.
I’m thin. I lost weight sensibly and over time and when I quit drinking, the rest of the weight slid off.
I did notice in one of the photos I had taken with Lisa however, that I looked too thin.
I brought it up to my mom yesterday who mentioned that she had been noticing and when my ‘skinny’ jeans are baggy it might mean I have lost too much weight.
They are baggy.
I eat! I do! I love food!
I think the method I used for losing the weight has stuck with me though. I only eat when I’m hungry. I don’t believe in Breakfast ‘time’, lunch ‘time’, dinner ‘time’ – I eat whenever I want and stop when I’m full.
Sometimes I eat like a hobbit and have second or third breakfasts – sometimes I only want my lunch all day. I listen to my body.
Pretty simple.
But yesterday I forced a meal down because I don’t want my skinny jeans to be baggy.
So I’m on the scale – and I’ve lost 2 pounds. I don’t know where they went! I’ve been stuffing my face with holiday food – I’ve had two friends take me to lunch (Thank you Ruth and Lisa) and been digging in to the sweets that were in my Christmas stocking.
Seriously – how am I now 5’9 (and a half) and 125 lbs?!
It bothers me.
I do not have an eating disorder, but the thought of eating just for the sake of gaining weight – of forcing food down that I am not hungry for … is repulsive to me. (Says the girl who ordered Foie Gras)
Food should be savored – appreciated – enjoyed!
I would say I’ll snack more – but I already do that!
During the week I constantly have food in my mouth – it’s become an office joke.
Anyway – so I need to gain weight.
Back to Nic and the fact that he was not offering to come to the laundromat with me.
I got a Barnes and Noble gift card for Christmas – and I think one of the books that I am going to have to buy is “The Little Red Hen”. I think that book should be mandatory reading for everyone. Period.
If you don’t contribute, you don’t get to enjoy the outcome.
You want to enjoy living in a clean house? Help clean it. You want clean clothes to wear? Help clean them. You want a happy life? Put positive things into it.
Which, brings me to one of the things I plan on ‘resolving’ to do for the New Year.
Less bitching.
I’m going to find my positive energy again. The power of positivity juxtaposed with my inability to edit myself may prove to be a problem, but I don’t expect results over night.
Perhaps if I constantly have food in my mouth, I won’t be able to gripe? Two birds, one stone.
The laundromat ‘muses’ back
And on a Sunday no less! Talk about timing!
I moderate my comments. I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t approve – but it’s good to have the option.
I’m alerted in my email box when I have a comment – and here’s one I received today:
I haven’t clicked on the source, but I think it’s safe to assume it’s probably not from my laundromat.
There’s almost a sad facet to this – considering someone promoting laundry services probably searched the topic and up came my blog.
Has it come to this? People can find my words – my soul and my heart by putting ‘laundry’ in the search box? LOL!
Well played laundromat, well played. You have amused me.
2014 I’ll be sure to make an effort to add more exciting search terms to my life.
Musings from the laundromat: Black Friday edition
It’s a rare day today – the second in a row that I haven’t had to go to work. Well, not to the building that pays me anyway.
I woke at 5 am, with Butters breathing in my face. I could feel her staring at me and confirmed it by peeking under my lashes at her very close face.
Let’s chat about Butters a second, because after I got up, let her out, switched the coffee on and went back to bed – I found the most hilarious photo posted to my Facebook wall.
I had shared some Thanksgiving photos and put one of my canine manatee up last night.
This one to be precise.
There was a comment and an altered photo from my son’s girlfriend Chelsea. If you’re familiar with the Doge meme, you’ll find it as hilarious as I did (I still insist on pronouncing ‘Doge’ like ‘vogue’ not ‘Doje’ with the ‘j’ sound the internet has declared to be correct. Such Shibe. Much there’s an ‘e’ on the end – pronounce the vowel as it is in the alphabet!)
Anyway – meme grammar tangent.
Here’s the doctored photo:
SO funny.
I already loved Chelsea, but it’s sealed now.
Anyway – so I’m laughing in bed at ‘Are-you-freaking-kidding-me O’Clock’ and decide to take advantage of this extra day off and finish preparing for my guest.
I grabbed a cup of coffee – made a list (no, I didn’t check it twice Nic) which didn’t have too much on it, but I knew had to go to the bank and get a money order to pay my rent and decided the best place to go was right next to it – Walmart.
It didn’t occur to me, until after I was showered and dressed and determined – that it was Black Friday.
A fun fact about me – once I’ve decided on something, I will not change my mind. I will not wait. I will go about accomplishing whatever it is I’ve decided to accomplish, no matter what. (This has resulted in tattoos, a nose piercing and a Vegas wedding.)
Some people call me stubborn.
Some people would be very right. (Such stubborn. Much pig-headed.)
Bottom line, I was GOING to Walmart – Black Friday stampedes be damned.
Traffic wasn’t bad as I left the house at about 8:15. Hit green lights most of the way and a good amount of tension left my stubborn shoulders. Even watched a coyote cross the road. (No, I don’t know why – probably he was following the chicken.)
Pulled into the shopping center – and realized the bank wasn’t open yet.
Okay – Walmart first.
I’ve never been to Walmart on Black Friday. I’ve heard the tales – read the stories about trampled people and broken limbs – shopping shenanigans. So I was bracing myself and when I approached the store …
Okay, it wasn’t that empty. But I easily found a parking spot, a cart, and this claustrophobic shopper was quite comfortable inside.
No mayhem!
I was in and out in 15 minutes with only the items on my list. I did spy some Black Friday queuing in the electronics department – that was fun. I walked by and looked upon them with amusement. Much as you would an exhibit at a museum or a fair.
(Such shoppers. So Savvy. Much money savers.)
One of my best friends works at the bank – so I got a hug as she opened the door for the half-dozen people waiting outside. Things were going so smoothly!
Drove to the property management company, money order in hand. Popped that into their drop box and headed home.
Green lights. Nice commute. Wow.
I was still in determined mode when I got home. AND somehow had energy to back my plans with action.
Lit a candle, put on some Christmas music and went to work.
Cleaned out the fridge, scrubbed the floor, bathed the dog(e), cleaned the tub – then the rest of the main bathroom. Went through the pantry – even washed the little salt and pepper shaker.
7 hours after having Butter breath in my face, I was still motivated enough to gather the laundry and come here.
And here I am.
Breezing through Black Friday like a pro and stubbornly accomplishing more than one person has a right to accomplish without a cape and an alter ego.
Am wondering though, what the hell this restless girl is going to do all weekend!
Because it won’t be this:
Musings from the laundromat: Wishful Cleaning Edition
Leaving my bed was difficult this morning – but if I wanted any sort of ‘weekend’ I knew the last of the chores had to be finished.
I’ve been cleaning since I got home Friday – which resulted in a wounded foot, me having to iron, and approximately 5 garbage bags full of things I was never going to throw away.
I’m still not done.
I’m not an unclean person – or an untidy one for that matter – I’m just not home long enough to prove otherwise to my satisfaction.
Couple that with the fact that I went from almost 2000 square feet plus a two car garage to about … 10 square feet and no garage, and you can see my dilemma.
So now there is a possibility that someone is coming to visit – I entered panic mode.
I actually asked my son’s girlfriend “What do you notice about the house? How would you describe it?”
There were no wrong answers, and I was not going to be offended. It is what it is. The small home I live in now was definitely a ‘material’ step down, but it was what I could afford at the time and definitely a ‘happiness’ step UP.
“It’s … cozy, but can be messy.”
“Where? Where can it be messy?” I asked as I cut my eyes over to my son, who really should be helping more.
“The kitchen.”
She’s right. First of all, the house is cozy. People feel at home in my home. I’ve heard ‘cozy’ before. That’s good.
As for the kitchen. Everyone has ‘that’ counter that keys, paperwork, mail, jackets get flung upon. That happens at our place too – except, we don’t have counters. So the dining room table we never sit at, is usually littered with such things.
As for the ‘laundry room’ that became the garage. Holiday boxes, cleaning supplies, battery chargers, crock pots, computer monitors, computer towers – everything too large to be anywhere else, ended up there.
It really shouldn’t bother me – people who love me aren’t going to judge me by my home, but come on! Even when you have relatives coming don’t you prepare by doing the crazy cleaning?
So crazy cleaning is still in progress.
Being at the laundromat almost feels like a vacation today.
Musings from the Laundromat: ‘The day I lied about a King’ Edition
Sigh.
I had to do the walk of shame to the customer counter a little while ago.
“My washing machine stopped.” I said.
Which, while true, wasn’t the whole truth. I needed more time to work up the courage to come clean. (No pun intended.)
The laundromat lady followed me back to my little cluster of machines I was currently using – and I fessed up.
“I put a quilt in there – but it’s thin. I thought it would be okay.”
Now, it IS thin – but it’s also filled with down and King sized.
“What size is it?”
“Umm …” I played innocently with a wet corner of the comforter, as we both peered into the water filled, unmoving interior. “I’m not sure.”
LIAR!
My inner honest-self was scowling at me. Fiercely.
Luckily, a simple twist of a key in a secret compartment started the machine up again.
I returned to my spot at the Umbrella table and let the shame wash over me. (Again, no pun intended.)
Karma is a bitch sometimes.
The reason I was washing my down comforter, is because it’s been a little chilly at night. I had stored it in one of those plastic bags that you vacuum the air out of.
A year of sitting in plastic DEFINITELY left its mark. I unzipped the bag and it smelled like a melted baby doll factory! Only worse. A melted unhygienic baby doll factory.
So disgusting.
I paid extra for fabric softener – used Oxygenated detergent … pulled that thing out of the washing machine (while feathers attacked me) and could STILL smell ‘that’ smell.
I bought two very over-priced fabric softener sheets and trotted over to the next contraption. “THE EXTRACTOR”
This was recommended to me by the laundromat lady. Because, and I quote, “You’ve got to get those things really dry, otherwise the feathers will smell.”
I was thinking it couldn’t possibly smell worse, but I wasn’t going to take my chances. Melted unhygienic doll baby factory with a hint of wet dead bird isn’t my idea of what something with the word ‘comfort’ in it should smell like.
It didn’t help to see this little picture on the machine – only adding to the macabre images in my head.
This thing was going to twist my arm off.
Because I lied.
Okay, it didn’t twist my arm off – but when I did find the courage to reach into “THE EXTRACTOR” I was again attacked by feathers and ‘the smell’.
I then put the offending quilt in a ‘special’ recommended dryer. I felt so guilty about lying to the laundromat lady, that I dutifully used it and paid extra for the damn thing.
It was specially designed for comforters – and cost more than the regular ones. For three times the price, it offered more space, hotter air and the use of 4 tennis balls “So it doesn’t bunch up” the laundromat lady explained.
Add to the mix two over priced dryer sheets and a prayer.
I sat, displaced from even the rainbow umbrella table – like an exiled criminal, in the front corner of the building. Serves me right for lying.
When the machine finally stopped, I opened the door and reached in … sniffed a little. Not bad. But could be better.
It’s now currently outside hanging off of the porch – having been sprayed with ‘Sleep Serenity’ bedding refresher.
I then noticed the tag –
Sigh.
Debauchery Soup 