It’s a rare day today – the second in a row that I haven’t had to go to work. Well, not to the building that pays me anyway.
I woke at 5 am, with Butters breathing in my face. I could feel her staring at me and confirmed it by peeking under my lashes at her very close face.
Let’s chat about Butters a second, because after I got up, let her out, switched the coffee on and went back to bed – I found the most hilarious photo posted to my Facebook wall.
I had shared some Thanksgiving photos and put one of my canine manatee up last night.
This one to be precise.
There was a comment and an altered photo from my son’s girlfriend Chelsea. If you’re familiar with the Doge meme, you’ll find it as hilarious as I did (I still insist on pronouncing ‘Doge’ like ‘vogue’ not ‘Doje’ with the ‘j’ sound the internet has declared to be correct. Such Shibe. Much there’s an ‘e’ on the end – pronounce the vowel as it is in the alphabet!)
Anyway – meme grammar tangent.
Here’s the doctored photo:
I already loved Chelsea, but it’s sealed now.
Anyway – so I’m laughing in bed at ‘Are-you-freaking-kidding-me O’Clock’ and decide to take advantage of this extra day off and finish preparing for my guest.
I grabbed a cup of coffee – made a list (no, I didn’t check it twice Nic) which didn’t have too much on it, but I knew had to go to the bank and get a money order to pay my rent and decided the best place to go was right next to it – Walmart.
It didn’t occur to me, until after I was showered and dressed and determined – that it was Black Friday.
A fun fact about me – once I’ve decided on something, I will not change my mind. I will not wait. I will go about accomplishing whatever it is I’ve decided to accomplish, no matter what. (This has resulted in tattoos, a nose piercing and a Vegas wedding.)
Some people call me stubborn.
Some people would be very right. (Such stubborn. Much pig-headed.)
Bottom line, I was GOING to Walmart – Black Friday stampedes be damned.
Traffic wasn’t bad as I left the house at about 8:15. Hit green lights most of the way and a good amount of tension left my stubborn shoulders. Even watched a coyote cross the road. (No, I don’t know why – probably he was following the chicken.)
Pulled into the shopping center – and realized the bank wasn’t open yet.
Okay – Walmart first.
I’ve never been to Walmart on Black Friday. I’ve heard the tales – read the stories about trampled people and broken limbs – shopping shenanigans. So I was bracing myself and when I approached the store …
Okay, it wasn’t that empty. But I easily found a parking spot, a cart, and this claustrophobic shopper was quite comfortable inside.
I was in and out in 15 minutes with only the items on my list. I did spy some Black Friday queuing in the electronics department – that was fun. I walked by and looked upon them with amusement. Much as you would an exhibit at a museum or a fair.
(Such shoppers. So Savvy. Much money savers.)
One of my best friends works at the bank – so I got a hug as she opened the door for the half-dozen people waiting outside. Things were going so smoothly!
Drove to the property management company, money order in hand. Popped that into their drop box and headed home.
Green lights. Nice commute. Wow.
I was still in determined mode when I got home. AND somehow had energy to back my plans with action.
Lit a candle, put on some Christmas music and went to work.
Cleaned out the fridge, scrubbed the floor, bathed the dog(e), cleaned the tub – then the rest of the main bathroom. Went through the pantry – even washed the little salt and pepper shaker.
7 hours after having Butter breath in my face, I was still motivated enough to gather the laundry and come here.
And here I am.
Breezing through Black Friday like a pro and stubbornly accomplishing more than one person has a right to accomplish without a cape and an alter ego.
Am wondering though, what the hell this restless girl is going to do all weekend!
Because it won’t be this:
Busy weekend. Long awaited replacement of my bathroom floor occurred. I knew it would be loud and knew Butters would be barking and outside. I requested Monday off. I wanted a day to clear up the sawdust and then to relax.
Nic and I pulled some weeds to the soothing background sounds of a compressor to our left and screaming and fighting to our right.
Yup. The neighbors.
I debated calling the Sheriff – decided against it and went inside.
Later, I was on my porch chatting to my mom on the phone. I saw my neighbor walking to the trash bin we share.
“I’ll call you back mom.” I said. Clicked the phone off and called out to the neighbor lady.
She stopped and walked toward my neck of the lot. I met her half way and I told her I wanted her to know if she ever needed anything, I was available. If she ever wanted to bring the little ones over at a ‘bad time’, I could put a cartoon on for them. She told me, with tears in her eyes that when she got her tax refund, she was leaving. I gave her a hug and reiterated that if she ever needed me … I was here.
I felt like I had finally done something of purpose. Something tangible – I hadn’t called the police, but now she knew she wasn’t alone.
Now I’m feeling a tad different. Woke up this morning – my day full of promise. A day off! A day off!
Got Nic off to school and turned and smiled at Butters. What to do? Read first? Put a movie on? Go back to bed??
I sat on the porch and as the sun came up and the words of a new book started warmed the cockles of this reader’s heart – I saw … this.
UG! I’m no sleuth, but considering I’ve never ever had an incident of this type before or ever been a victim of shenanigans – the coincidence was glaring.
I didn’t know what the substance was – but groaned before grabbing my camera realizing part of my day off was to be taken up by dealing with whatever ‘this’ was.
Called the Sheriff. I went out to the car once he arrived and noticed there was more.
I filled the Sheriff in on the history with my neighbor. He went next door to ask them if they ‘saw anything’. Yeah right.
And, if they didn’t admit ‘yeah, I did that’ – basically there was nothing he could do.
Of course, they didn’t know anything.
I wanted to call CSI and have them find drops of the substance – I wanted it to lead back to their house, to be on his shoe. GOTCHA! But, apparently that only happens on TV.
So, after the Sheriff left – I grabbed a watering can and cleaned off what I had originally thought was egg yolk. Picturing someone inside their house watching me and chuckling to themselves.
I held my head up higher than was probably necessary just in case.
Who dunnit? I have no proof – but considering the substance, I know we can’t rule Colonel Mustard out.