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Musings from the Laundromat: Finger Lies and White Glove Cleaning edition

 

I peopled yesterday.

I SO peopled.

Made a return at a major store – found no replacement, went to another major store – this is after an uncomfortable drive to the first place.

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Woke up.

Bathroom.

Care for pets.

Pills.

Shower.

Thought of leaving brings on another need for bathroom.

The drive: “OMG, why are they going so fast?”  “Am I going too slow?” “I have to be in this lane.” “Are they mad at me?” “They’re not going to let me in if I don’t move now.”

Store.

Bathroom.

Get me out of here!

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Last store – my heart was ready to come out of my chest.  I entered Safeway.

Wiped my cart with the sanitary thingy – reach into my purse for my pen (I always do a ‘tally’ as I go) and ‘POKE’ … And OUCH.

I pulled my hand out of my purse and … Blood.

A lot.

A trial size perfume spritzer had shattered and the ‘poke’ was a shard of glass.

I headed to customer service because A) I am NOT going home now without my provisions and B) I needed her to check my lottery scratcher tickets because I am blind as Clarice Starling in Buffalo Bill’s cellar these days.

So I’m standing there – dripping on not only the cart, but the floor, my clothes, anything in my midst.

Me: (placing, very calmly, scratcher tickets on the counter)  Um, do you have a band aid?

Her: Wow.  You’re bleeding pretty bad.

Me: Yeah.

Her: OK. (Scurries off for ‘things’)

Me: I’m so sorry.

Her: Don’t be sorry.  How did you do that?

Drip.  Drip.

Me: (Feeling woozy, trying not to bleed everywhere and becoming increasingly aware of how much I am) I, um, I  was by the dispenser, the thing ..

Her: The sanitizer?  You cut yourself on the wipe container?

Me: Yes.

LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liar!

LIE!

“Do you want to file a claim?”

No, no I didn’t lol. Because it wasn’t the dispenser’s fault.

She kindly patched me up and yes, I had missed a ‘winner’.  $10 in my pocket and a band aid on my finger and I was off.

But what WAS their fault?  The barricades in the aisles.  Stock people, I know you have to stock,  but, damn!  It’s hard enough for me to be in the store at it’s best time (which I still haven’t figured out) but when I’m doing a grocery version of a maze/obstacle course that’s ridiculous.

I was so DONE with being out, SO done with peopling and so mad at myself for allowing the sweet customer service lady to believe the sanitizer dispenser attacked me.

The rest of the day I spent cleaning and cooking.

It’s time for my annual home inspection – or as I like to think of it, ‘intrusive visit where photographs are taken of all my belongings’.

I clean all the time, but this visit calls for the white glove kind of clean.

You know, all the things you don’t do all the time.  (Or, maybe it’s just me?) Like, removing and washing the floor vents, cleaning the top of the  fridge, cleaning under sinks and tossing items not used even once since last inspection.

I got most everything done except my bedroom.

I just can’t get into gear to do it!

We all have that one room everything that doesn’t belong anywhere else ends up right?  Well, that’s my bedroom.

And it really sucks the ‘nest zen’ right out of my budoire.

I’ll get to it eventually.  I have a deadline after all.  That always motivates me.

But for today … I’m going to chill out a little.

Luckily, I am done with outside errands and there’s no more peopling in Sunday’s forecast.

 

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Nesting, the Pope and hamster bites

Me: Do you want our room to be ‘Nerdvana’ and our living room to be ‘Nirvana’ or the other way around?

Him: What?

Me: I mean, do you want our bedroom to be tranquil and our living room to represent our fandom?

Yeah.  I was wide awake now.  After laundry, I got a ‘nesting’ thing going on.  And yeah, discovered I was sick.

Didn’t matter.

Woke Nic up to take his meds, and dug in.

I had energy from God knows where and I was up for it!

We have cleaned things and moved things and adjusted things that haven’t even been LOOKED at in months.

I was determined to have a strange and new clean place to wake up to tomorrow, after spending tonight behind the lens on the tripod.   SO excited about the moon.

Had the Pope on the whole time, and let tears run as I acknowledged what an authentic person he is.

Then came mass.  And I realized why I am NOT a Catholic.  No offense.  But I think even God would be like, “Ok, this is running a bit long, there are people out there we could be helping.”

Just me.

In my not so humble opinion.

I, the anti-organized religious chick, is SO in love with the pope.

Back to the other weird stuff I love.

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So, now the living room is nerdville.  And trust me when I say, this is a FRACTION of the shite we have.  And when I say ‘shite’ I mean, stuff we care A LOT about.

So bedroom turned into this:

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There is so little to do with what we have.  BUT!  What we have is so appreciated.   We are all grateful for the roof, the food, the family … But will my home grace the cover of ‘Home and Garden’.  LMAO! Nah.

Doesn’t matter.

What matters is family.   And I’ve spent time with not only my honey, but my son throughout the day.  Then I tried the animals.

I brought Nic’s hamster out of the cage – and while I do not want to pat myself on the back (OH! I SO totally DO!)  when she bit me – not once, not twice, but 5 *&%$ing times – I didn’t flinch.  I didn’t want to hurt her teeth!

I certainly didn’t want to fling her across the room, and trust me, that was HARD!  Kept calm, placed her back into her cage after she ‘released’ and then tended to my wounds.

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Pope is still on TV.  I’m still loving him.  Tripod is ready for the night – and I’m SO grateful.  For everything.  For everyone.  And thank you to the Pope for being an amazing REAL person who blessed us with his visit.  I teared up more watching him than anytime in my past.  He gives me hope for religion.  #THEREISSUCHGOOD

 

Musings from the laundromat: Wishful Cleaning Edition

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Leaving my bed was difficult this morning – but if I wanted any sort of ‘weekend’ I knew the last of the chores had to be finished.

I’ve been cleaning since I got home Friday – which resulted in a wounded foot, me having to iron, and approximately 5 garbage bags full of things I was never going to throw away.

I’m still not done.

I’m not an unclean person – or an untidy one for that matter – I’m just not home long enough to prove otherwise to my satisfaction.

Couple that with the fact that I went from almost 2000 square feet plus a two car garage to about … 10 square feet and no garage, and you can see my dilemma.

So now there is a possibility that someone is coming to visit – I entered panic mode.

I actually asked my son’s girlfriend “What do you notice about the house?  How would you describe it?”

There were no wrong answers, and I was not going to be offended.  It is what it is.  The small home I live in now was definitely a ‘material’ step down, but it was what I could afford at the time and definitely a ‘happiness’ step UP.

“It’s … cozy, but can be messy.”

“Where?  Where can it be messy?”  I asked as I cut my eyes over to my son, who really should be helping more.

“The kitchen.”

She’s right.   First of all, the house is cozy.  People feel at home in my home.  I’ve heard ‘cozy’ before.  That’s good.

As for the kitchen.   Everyone has ‘that’ counter that keys, paperwork, mail, jackets get flung upon.  That happens at our place too – except, we don’t have counters.  So the dining room table we never sit at, is usually littered with such things.

As for the ‘laundry room’ that became the garage.  Holiday boxes, cleaning supplies, battery chargers, crock pots, computer monitors, computer towers – everything too large to be anywhere else, ended up there.

It really shouldn’t bother me – people who love me aren’t going to judge me by my home, but come on!  Even when you have relatives coming don’t you prepare by doing the crazy cleaning?

So crazy cleaning is still in progress.

Being at the laundromat almost feels like a vacation today.