Category Archives: Humor
Plans, Posters and imaginary Parenthood
Gawd – I’m feeling the pressure to write some amazing year-end ‘blow your socks off’ post. No one is putting this on me – I’m quite capable of creating impossible real and imagined tasks all by myself.
So – I’ll just say this.
I have plans tomorrow.
GASP! SHOCK!
(AND, there’s more, I reconnected with an old friend last night and we’re actually going to see each other … hopefully February!)
The way my plans went down was funny in a kind of sad but true way …
Friend: “We should go to dinner on New Years Eve”
Me: *Awkward ‘deer heard a leaf crunch’ stare*
Friend: “C’mon! You said you were going to do more”
Me: “I did things this year”
Friend: “Those things weren’t this year”
Me: “Yes they were!!! We did like, THREE things this year!!”
Friend: “No we didn’t”
Me: “Yup, dinner, tortoise ….”
Friend: “Oh, yeah I guess it was this year”
But how sad is it that ‘We already DID something this year’ was my go to excuse??? LOL!
Now I’m deciding what to wear …
Either this shirt:
Or this one??
Won’t much matter – it’s not like I’ll be counting down to midnight in it. We’re going to meet at the restaurant at 4:30. “That’s when OLD people eat!” she said … I just raised my eyebrows.
We’re not getting any younger.
Bonus, her adorable granddaughter is coming too – who is growing up WAY too fast, just like every other adorable baby ever born.
*sigh*
Speaking of adorable babies growing up too quickly … my son stopped by yesterday bearing gifts. No it wasn’t a baby.
(But he had me totally scared the other night when he ran to find me in the house and asked “What were you going to name me if I was a girl???” After I answered, he pounced off. I took a beat before pouncing after him “Wait!!!! You’re playing SIMS right??? Please tell me you’re playing SIMS!”)
He was.
Phew!
ANYWAY! He brought me … Nerdvana! A Jesse Pinkman doll … an Abraham Series 6 Walking Dead doll and … A 6 FOOT POSTER OF DARYL DIXON!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!
I put it up last night. I was reminded of my teeny bopper days. I remember carefully removing the center fold of my Circus magazine and adding to my expansive wall décor … my long-haired loves. Mostly Nikki Sixx … Swoon! And Tom Keifer. Many staple related injuries were due to those two.
Last night a framed Ansel Adams moved aside for Daryl.
Then I decided to be silly with it … (this is why I can’t leave the house people … I am NOT normal!)
I posted this on Facebook with the caption: “I hate for you to see us arguing, but he did just bring up Carol!”
Listen, I’ll do the dinner tomorrow … but I think I’m only being fair when I give my friends an out. I cannot be held responsible for any oddness that may ensue at that early seating. LOL! May the force be with you Denice – you brought this on yourself.
And HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone! May 2015 be filled with love and light and laughter … wishing you all the very best always!
More holiday fun
I’m like a kid – I’ll play with the boxes and ribbons instead of the present – as proven here.
A basket of goodies came and I was all over those ribbons like a cat. Okay, a naughty cat, but when it comes to someone holding a camera – I have to be a ham (or, a chocolate pasty stripper?!)
My son called later in the day.
Nic: The UPS man is here
(I hear Butters barking like crazy in the background)
Nic: Says ‘perishable’ – I’m openin’ it.
Me: Who’s it addressed to?
Nic: Amanda
Me: Then you’re not openin’ it
Nic: Oooo …. working on the corners
Me: Nic don’t!
He didn’t.
I play a game called Big Fish – been playing it for years. When you’re a hermit, you still need entertainment – and it’s a free social casino type game. Fun fun!
Anyway, I got an email a few days back saying they’d like to send me a gift.
Moi?! Ok!
Responded to email – it was legit.
Came home and opened the box – ok, Nic ended up openin’ it – and inside:
Thoughtful!
Here’s what was inside:
It was only later Nic and I had the same realization –
“Aren’t those candy apples in the news??”
We decided they meant the hard caramel/toffee kind and chocolate covered were fine.
Nic also made dinner tonight. I’m swamped with holiday miracles!
Ok – maybe the aftermath was not such a miracle – but I decided to choose my battles – be VERY grateful for the meal (it was delicious) and do the dishes for him. 😉
Afterall, ’tis the season of giving. Giving the chef a break. 🙂
3 more sleeps!
3 more sleeps ‘til Christmas!!!
I looked forward to coming in to work this morning – I had little gifts for my bosses. A photo montage of the birth of our company in silver (colored) 8 x 10 frames.
I’m still so stoked with Christmas spirit that I looked forward to leaving the house – I’ve been pacing around eager for Christmas to arrive, all the while trying not to wish days away. We never get those days back you know?
When I arrived, I immediately noticed this on my desk.
No means no! They’re trying to plump me up for some reason – and it’s working. I’ll not go into detail, but suffice it to say, after the holidays someone *cough* me – will be pushing all treats away until I am certain I won’t need an entire new wardrobe.
It’s been fun though, I don’t even get mad at the scale. Worth every bite.
Antsy & glad of it!
Oh it’s SO hard to concentrate at work! It’s quiet – and I’m alone. (I literally just echoed ‘alone, alone, alone’ in my head just for fun, I’m so in need of stimulation!)
I’ve cleaned the office, twice.
Sorted files that were already sorted.
All the while, I’m mentally checking off everything that needs to be done tonight and this weekend.
1st world problems eh?
There are such atrocities occurring right this second in the world – I should be ashamed of myself.
My biggest issue right now is hoping my key doesn’t stick in my ignition after parking at a shop.
I have a gift to pick up that arrived at the store I had it sent to. I have a project to pick up and buy frames for. Lots of ‘little’ shopping to do this weekend, and clean clean clean the house. (That time there was no echo, just repetition for effect – my house is a pig sty right now.)
I say it every year, so why should this year be different? My most favorite day is Christmas Eve!!!!!!!!!
I’m a big fan of anticipation. Looking forward to something.
‘Merry’ is still hanging in the air – hope and sparkly eyeballs are still about.
5 minutes after gathering around our little tree Christmas morning and it will be all ripped paper and disheveled bows and … over.
And yeah, I know, the gifts aren’t the ‘reason for the season’ – and I’ll spare you my anti-religion tirade. But what tops the joy of giving a token of appreciation to someone that makes time on this planet joyful– for me – is the looking forward to doing it!
Before we know it – this entire year will be scrapbook fodder.
Over. Done.
Then onto 2015.
It’s crazy. How time really DOES fly – especially the older we get.
I’m grateful for every minute – and grateful for you all and grateful for my 1st world problems.
Be careful out there this weekend if you, like me, are insanely putting yourself in the throngs of shoppers and traffic.
Holiday treats & comfort carrots?
The thing about holiday time … fun things show up!
I sent a very serious email to my bosses simply stating:
“if you show up and I’m hiccupping and covered in chocolate … it’s because I was unattended with the attached.”
A spiral ham came too – but that was addressed to me … the tower of treats and fun colored mixed drinks is for the office.
Then I got to thinking about how this is the last Christmas my son will be a teenager! And now I really want into that chocolate – and am wishing the ham would defrost, cook and plate itself with a pile of mashed potatoes and some sort of comforting vegetable.
What IS a comforting vegetable??
Not these guys for sure …
Aw … here’s one:
I could use a hug. I’ll see if I spot any produce reaching out to me with little huggy arms at the grocery store.
Debauchery Soup 