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No, I’m not always negative – I just purge (Pretty sure that keeps me positive)

Completely smitten with all you kittens that read my blog this weekend.  Thank you.

But, I don’t want you thinking I’m always dark.

I’m the girl who will crack up out of nowhere remembering something funny.

I’m the girl who comes home and is SO grateful for everything I have, as modest as it is, and also grateful for everything I don’t have.

I was gob smacked when I arrived home tonight to a package by the gate.

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It was from a dear friend who somehow still likes me.

I have been selfish. I have.

Or – I have not had the funds/energy/right mind to reciprocate.

And yet, my friends still love me.

I seriously don’t know why.

I sit worrying about EVERYTHING.  Health care, a lasting job, ‘enough’, the ‘unforeseeable’, life in general.  And I’ll tell you, everything I’ve worried about so far, HAS come true.  Am I projecting?  Or am I just sensible?

Butters’ injury – saw that coming.

And now my teeth hurt – saw that coming.

Lacking in funds for emergencies – KNEW that was coming lol.

And yet, every morning, I wake and am SO glad that I did.

Because I know there are thousands, no, millions of people who would give anything to have MY problems.

I love my life.

I ADORE my life.

I try to stay in the moment – then get caught up in ‘what if’s’

Ridiculous no?

But sensible – yes.

So, I’m a sensible pessimist. LOL!

I know what cards life has already dealt me and when things were tough, I DID fight through.  To the point that my son told me “I don’t worry about you, because you survive.”

I wish he knew how much that took – and at what price.

But – that gift today.  Oh my.  Someone still thinking of  me and loving me?  I needed that.

And I love you ‘elf Ann’