The first week of work.
Well, well, well.
I learned a LOT (understatement of the year), but what I think I learned most importantly was:
a) Being in the mortgage business for 15 years doesn’t help jack when you’re suddenly in the real estate business
b) I’m still WAY too hard on myself.
Here’s a little visual of how the week went.
Later that day:
Later same day:
Intermittently throughout day:
Everyday at my notes when I tried to work unattended:
Thank GOD the person leaving the post (real post, not blog post) is kind, and patient, and put up with my OCD note taking.
I literally wrote the same procedures down in triplicate without knowing it.
By day three I had 2 binders full of paper and dividers and stickers …
My mentor just sat. And smiled. And taught.
Now, you would think that learning an industry language I didn’t know how to speak, and how to operate 3 new systems I’d never even heard of before – would be what I was most anxious about.
Oh my God.
The vast ‘think on your feet and don’t stutter’ scenarios that end up being on the other end of the line, pale in comparison to the mind-blowing multi-line phone system.
Mother of God!
To top it off, I have to say “It’s a great day at ______” when I answer the phone. This has been answered by such responses as: “Bullshit” and “Is it? Is it really?”
I was feeling more comfortable by day 5 – and this is where my years in the area did come in handy – I knew a lot of the people (escrow officers etc.) who were calling.
It’s really just going to all come down to repetition, trial and error and experience – and I need to remember that.
As I said earlier to my friends – I’m learning a new language, and already expecting myself to speak it fluently, know proper grammar and have the accent down.
And let’s face it – I haven’t even achieved THAT in my native tongue. 😉
It’s been quite a week.
For a while (a couple of months) I had felt something almost tangible in the air at work.
Things were just ‘off’.
I’m very in tune to energy around me. I pick up on facial expressions – body language, other people’s emotions – sometimes I don’t know what I’m picking up on, I just feel waves of something that isn’t stemming from me.
I’ve been told I have empath traits – and from what I’ve read about empaths, I would agree.
My closest friends and family told me I was probably imagining things. But I can usually trust my gut.
My gut then clenches around the disturbance like an iron fist and all negative perceptions are transferred to me.
A couple of more obvious clues might have been when my immediate boss stopped sharing news with me (like the fact that he got married) or when he gave me a bar of chocolate for Christmas.
Okay, it was a really large bar of chocolate – but a bonus it was not.
I carried on, kept doing my job. Waiting for the shoe to drop.
Last week my less immediate, but more powerful boss came into town.
I didn’t know she was here when I emailed her asking if I could please go home for the rest of the day. I had been sick for over two weeks – and had almost fainted a couple of times going back and forth to the printer.
“Feel better” was her response.
The next day, I received another email.
It was one of those ‘we need to talk’ emails.
Is there any worse feeling? Even in my 40’s I felt like I was going to the principal’s office.
I knew it wasn’t going to be a reprimand – I do my job well.
Crippling anxiety ensued, in my head. On the outside, I kept working and smiling.
Meeting time came, and I sat opposite my boss, and her husband, who is president of the real estate office we work with.
In a nut shell, I was laid off. They were closing the processing center.
Unfortunately for me I was the ‘processing center’.
I sat and nodded and agreed it made business sense – all while playing out the scenario of being unemployed in my head.
I know I’m capable of landing on my feet – I’ve done it before, but did I really want to start all over and worry about providing food and shelter for my little family? Um, no. Of course not.
I had my son moved in with my parents, my dog in a new home and me sleeping in my car all before the next shoe landed on the desk.
I was offered a job.
The thing about bonding with people around you and caring, is they notice. And people notice when you show up and work hard.
Who would have thought?
The agents and staff in the realty office that our loan company was housed in did not want to see me go.
A position was created for me.
I had never felt such relief, appreciation and humility as I did in that moment.
These people who I consider family – that I care about … cared back.
I think it’s pretty obvious from my past posts that I am a grateful person … but let me tell you – when I got home that day, the shoebox we live in never looked more beautiful.
My nightly ‘thank you’ to my higher power was said with tears in my eyes.
The next day the alarm clock never sounded more melodic and the gift of being able to pay my bills was never more appreciated.
Tomorrow I begin a new adventure with a new company, approximately 12 steps from my old office.
But I begin it with familiar faces – people I already love.
And I am so grateful.