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A day in the life …

Happens to be one of my favorite Beatles songs – and (immediate tangent) if you haven’t yet seen ‘Good Old Freda’ on Netflix yet – and still claim to be a Beatles fan – then go watch it NOW.

On a serious note …

I arrived home – Ah, Friday!  I stopped at the grocery store, came sauntering home with ice cream and dog treats – Noticed nice neighbor who was walking his dogs was battling a rogue dog in the neighborhood. I mean, seriously battling – yanking his pups on their leash and tossing rocks at the offending pup.  After understanding earlier that my son left Butters outside (after an IM) and thinking it was she that had leapt the fence for some reason and was up the street – I  peeled back out of my parking spot and realized my neighbor was battling another dog and it WASN’T Butters – thank goodness – I ‘covered him’ until he got home.

But, there are way too many dogs that are unattended and roam.  Butters is only out when I’m home – and when I hear her urgently bark, my arse is outside checking things out and bringing her in.

Anyway!! Got home again.

Put groceries away – grabbed ipad – went outside (I have a peaceful and lovely view of a vacant lot if I put my blinders on – rabbits – quail – silence)   put my feet up and was greeted by my unavoidable view of ‘THE neighbors’.

The ones I’ve discussed before.

I’ll keep this short – the video should bore you enough, explain a lot and take up enough of your time.

Bottom line – oldest daughter has graduated from hitting dog with hand to hitting dog with stick.  Youngest child is copying oldest and doing same.

The dog that ‘suddenly’ appeared after they had a break in. Or – perceived break in?  Who knows anymore.

I say enough in the video – so let’s let that speak a thousand words (and tangents) and any advice would be appreciated.

I will NOT just LEAVE!  That would render me ‘Ostrich’ and those kids and that poor pup will still be in the same situation.

I have some solutions.  I’m thinking tomorrow, I GO to the Sheriff department and just spill all I know. I have a home inspection next week and I plan to share all I know about the neighbors with them.

I’m doing all I can while protecting my own.  And while I wish I was one of those people who did the right thing ‘come what may’ – I have others to think about. My son – my dog.

And when people are on drugs – and when people are violent – there’s no rationalizing with them.

 

 

 

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Dear Nicholas,

The end of the world is right around the corner – and when that doesn’t happen, early next year your birthday will officially dub you ‘an adult’. So tecnically, Mayan calendars aside, the end of the world as I know it is drawing to a close.  

I miss you already. 

No, you’re not going to be booted out at 18, but a chapter will be closed on this amazing story of ours, and a new one in your story begins.

I feel compelled to share with you, and the world, how I feel – before your last magical ‘childhood’ Christmas.  There will be more of course, and they’ll be magical, but the teen years are slipping away and so is my undivided time with you.

Nic driving kid

nic driving teen

Let me start with, I am so very glad you were born.  I have never for one moment regretted a second that you have been in my life.  Raising you alone only served to strengthen our relationship and build a bond that is unbreakable.

As cliché as it sounds, it’s so true.  I did not realize I was capable of loving someone as much as I have always loved you.  I remember ‘accidentally’ bumping into your crib when you were a baby so that you would wake up and I could hold you – look into your eyes.  (That’s why I let you sleep late now lol).

You were my beautiful tow-headed baby boy.

No one has been able to make me laugh the way you do.  We still laugh!  You are 17 years old and we still laugh together.

Do you realize how blessed that makes me feel?  There are kids who don’t even talk to their parents!  How lucky am I?

When you are happy, all is right with the world.  I am peaceful when you are content.

When you are hurting, I am lost.  Wishing I could do more – wishing I could soothe the pain – wishing I could fast forward through your lessons and press play straight into serenity.

The times you’ve said to me, “See, I do listen” after quoting something I’ve said, honestly does surprise me. 

Oh Nic, I hope I’ve said the right things!

nic black and white

I hope you’ve heard that it’s never too late to change – to make things right.  To always do the right thing, even when it’s not easy.  (Especially when it’s not easy!)

I hope you have heard me say not to judge people.  But, we do judge, so don’t judge without information.  And, if you find someone lacking, I hope your heart wants to reach out and fill the empty spaces.

When someone hurts you, I hope you’ve heard me when I have said it’s because somehow, they are hurting.

Contrary to our joke that I ‘never get mad’, I do.  I hope you have heard me apologize.  Mend what’s wrong and let go.  Mad doesn’t feel good.  Okay, maybe for that split pity party second, but not for long.

I hope you find contentment Nicholas.  That one day you’ll know what ‘enough’ means and treasure it.

You have such a loving soul – don’t hide it.  You already march to the beat of your own drum – I hope one day you dance to it.

You’re smart and creative, funny and kind.  You’re the brightest light in my world.

I’m so honored Nic, to even know you.  Grateful to have had the opportunity to love you.  And blessed beyond measure to get to call myself your ‘mom’. 

I’m Nic’s mom!  That fact hits me out of the blue from time to time and fills my heart with joy.

And I want you to know, I never for one second ever doubted that you love me back.