I am a firm believer that if I wake up, it’s already a great day!
A day is what you make of it. However, sometimes, no matter how hard you try, other people and/or events can suck the positive energy right out of you.
As much as happiness is contagious, so is tension and frustration.
My day started out almost comically when my coffee maker decided it was time to head to the giant coffee bean in the sky. I guess even appliances evacuate themselves in an undignified manner in their final moments, as my counter and kitchen floor can attest to.
Twice I mopped up the contents of the gasping machine (the second time after I believed I had ‘fixed’ it).
No worries. I’ll buy instant coffee when I get groceries tomorrow (I told myself) and besides, how blessed am I to even get to go grocery shopping?? (I told myself).
Off to work.
I love what I do. I do it well. I even went in early to put up some fun October decor!
Went downhill from there. At one point, I’m pretty sure even the freshly hung inflatable spider and bat wanted to turn the fishing line they’re suspended from into a noose.
This will be at least the third post I mention my adversity to confrontation. I found myself in a very uncomfortable situation without the words or whereabouts to defend myself today.
The source of this uncomfortable situation repeatedly scurries off and spins a tale devoid of facts in my favor.
Now, while I have a lot of faith, fear does creep in from time to time. I live paycheck to paycheck. I work my arse off at a full-time job and a part-time weekend job and I DO fear losing them.
It was only 2 years ago that I was very near to being homeless and had next to nothing in the pantry.
I have gratitude. For breathing, having shelter, utilities and food.
I’d really like to keep those things.
So I think this particular ‘concern’ (ok, yeah, it’s an outright fear) is sort of healthy. I mean, I don’t spend every waking moment thinking ‘oh my God – what if I lose my job!’, but when things get hairy, I worry.
If a door is going to close, it would be great to have a heads up. Because it’s not me I’m worried about – it’s being able to provide the necessities for my little family. ♥
But we don’t get a ‘heads up’, do we? Life doesn’t work that way. (Cue George Michael, “Gotta have faith…” thanks George, can I borrow your coffee maker while we’re at it?)
So I drive home. I’m driving and trying oh so hard to shake off the fear. Trying to appreciate the scenery, trying to cheer up and I’m remembering that God hasn’t let me down yet.
I pull up to the fence. And the front door opens. Out pokes my son’s head, he smiles and waves. The dog wiggles out the door and stands at the fence wagging her tail.
And I KNOW today is not a bad day. They’re in it.
Life is so very beautiful. I’m so glad I was invited.
Post Script – I’m about to hit ‘publish’ and my son calls – he’s ok, but my car is not. BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE. 😦