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Musings from the Laundromat: Brave bras, pink panties and a safe heart

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There are three bras slung over the rail of a laundry cart … just out there for all to see.  And no one is looking at them.  Untrue, can’t stop looking at them.  I keep glancing up.

Here I am, the one who turns 50 shades of red when I drop a pair of panties on the ground whilst removing my dry load from the depths of an industrial dryer, gawking at the sheer bravery of these bras.

And I’m reminded … not everyone is interested in looking at your stuff.

I’m at a strange table again.  And painfully aware that there are people behind me.

I hate having my back to people.

Anxiety girl!

I just glanced and saw a free table in the back … I’m moving!

AH! Much better.

When I walked in Of Monsters and Mens’ Little Talks was playing on the radio – and I smiled.

While driving here – Take me to Church was on in my car.

Like most everything else, I read too much into music.  Today was no different, but in a good way.  Felt like two good omens.

I wonder do we block out the songs that aren’t relevant to our current state of mind?  Do our little ears perk up when one comes on that fits the soundtrack of our lives?

I’m sure there’s a very scientific explanation.  Probably much like the phenomenon of hearing a new word for the first time, and then hearing it multiple times that day.  Or getting a new car, and noticing the same car everywhere you go.

In tune to something you never paid much attention to before.

I’m in tune to lots of things about myself that I didn’t pay much attention to before.  Feeling things I haven’t felt before.  Cringing at some of my cat lady posts and all my ‘no one will ever complete me’ exclamations.

I feel like I found that last piece of a jigsaw puzzle.  The piece that would make my beautiful little life a complete picture.

And I’m so hopeful.  And very, very fortunate to have found someone who will temper my anxiety with a laid back attitude and a funny and creative view of things.

I’m also very, very fortunate to have found someone who will be so good for my such loved son.

An example of so many things.  Patience.  Persistency.  Humor.  Self acceptance.  And love.

I’m the luckiest girl on the planet right now as far as I’m concerned.

My heart feels Home. And Safe.  And, I just dropped a pair of pink panties from the washer onto the ground and only turned 25 shades of red.

See – progress!