Author Archives: debaucherysoup
“Lights! Camera! Soundtrack!”
I am a movie fanatic.
When I enjoy a movie, I’m not complete until I’ve had the entire experience!
I need to know about the concept, watch the bloopers, see ‘behind-the-scenes’ and ‘the making of …’.
I’ll Google memorable quotes, visit IMDB and I’ve even ordered press kits and scripts from a couple of my favorites.
But, for me, the soundtrack is the gift that keeps on giving.
Music has always brought out a visceral response from me. I get literal goosebumps when a note is hit just right. Everything from Mozart to Metallica rings my musical bell.
As for soundtracks, I’ll hear a certain song on the radio and I’m immediately transported back to the movie it played in.
Here are a few examples:
“Running on Empty” by Jackson Browne – I’m running with Forrest, hearing voice overs in my head.
Tom Petty’s “American Girl”?
Remember the Senators daughter, Ruth Martin singing along to it in the truck? Yeah, that was before she was abducted and instructed: “It rubs the lotion on it’s skin or else it gets the hose again” Classic!
Yup, Silence of the Lambs (One of the scripts I have is to that movie. The other script is for Hannibal and the press kit ^_^ I think I was a little in love with Lecter.)
“People are Strange” by the doors
The Lost Boys of course. (A little sidenote, I briefly dated one of the vampires, ‘Surf Nazi #5’).
“The Way We Were” by Barbra Streisand
Well, that one speaks for itself doesn’t it? I hear that song and I’m spending my ration stamps on a steak for Hubbell.
“Don’t you forget about me” by Simple Minds.
Pretty in Pink. Oh Duckie! I would have picked you!
There are so very many more – but I’ll finish up for now with a fitting tribute.
He passed away today and it’s odd that I already had decided on my blog topic before I heard the news.
Andy Williams version of “Moon River”
Any version takes me to one of my favorite films of all time – “Breakfast at Tiffanys”
Thank you for the music Andy, and rest in peace.
“You’re the one that I want …”
Today’s simple pleasure was the Monday drive to work of all things!
Almost to work and “You’re the one that I want” from Grease came on the radio.
I cranked that song up and with the window down belted out Olivia Newton Johns part.
I LOVE the movie Grease! I have it on DVD, and it’s one of those movies that if I stumble upon it on TV, I have to stop down and watch it.
I’m about to digress:
Why do we DO that? Why do we watch a favorite film on TV with commercials when we could just pop in the DVD having been reminded how much we love said movie?
Done digressing.
First time I saw Grease was with no sound (we couldn’t afford the ear plugs) – on an airplane flying from India back to England. It wasn’t even playing in our cabin!
I was perched on my seat craning my neck to catch glimpses of leather jackets and poodle skirts in the next cabin. I was so excited though, in spite of the viewing conditions.
Have to say I’m more a ‘head band-poodle skirt Sandy’ girl – I wouldn’t wear those pants she had to be sewn into (It’s true! She was! Google it). I don’t like attracting too much attention to myself.
If I wear earrings, I can’t wear a necklace and vice versa. I will get a little daring sometimes and wear small earrings with a bracelet (Shocking!) Oh, and I NEVER wear gold.
Ditto on the make up. A mascara swipe – rice powder and lipstick, I’m done. I feel like a French whore when I have eyeliner on for a big night out. (she types this while trying to remember the last time that actually was).
So I keep a low profile, but as for singing at the top of my lungs as other cars drive by, I’m in! “It’s electrifying!”
And now for something completely different
I knew when I started this blog that I wanted to share what life used to be like and what it’s like today.
I have never been one to have skeletons in my closet, they’ve always pretty much walked around with me wearing, “Hello, my name is Amanda’s’ Skeleton” labels (in pretty awful handwriting, but hey – it’s hard to write with a bony finger).
When I’m out, they’re waving at passersby, stopping to chat with people in the grocery store … you get the picture. I’m not exactly a closed book.
What started to happen though, is that while I wanted my story out there – I felt like I was toeing an odd line telling people to choose to be happy while I’m recounting some ugly facts from my past.
A Couple of my posts were bordering on maudlin. (Nooooooooo!)
The whole point of this blog was to be honest and fun and give me an outlet for creativity. AND hopefully to reach someone with a similar story and show them how amazing life can be.
I’m no Maya Angelou or Oprah, but I know I’ve done something right because I have done a spiritual, emotional and physical 180.
I think people are more likely to believe in happy when they see happy. And I am happy.
So! Since I’m happy and I know it, think I’ll clap my blog hands.
Caution – wet flowers
My latest endeavor. It’s not done, but I am for the night!
Sleepy, and waiting up for the first time for Nic. So this is what that feels like eh?
Time to wash my paint brushes and brush my teeth and remember that God doesn’t have Grandchildren. He’s got Nic’s back on his first late night drive home. Can’t wait to hear all the Homecoming details.
Good night friends.
And, as happy as I already was with my site, thank you so much to new visitors for the excitement you’ve given me these past two days by being part of it! ♥
Losing the moon …
Heard this song today and thought I should get this little detail out of the way …
Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright
But it hurts when I think, when I let it sink in
It’s all over me
I know you’re here in the dark
Watching you sleep, it hurts alot
All I know is, you’ve got to give me everything
Nothing else cause, you know I give you all of me
I give you everything that I am
I’m handing over everything that I got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don’t ever want to have to go and give you up
Stay up till 4 in the morning, and the tears are pouring
And I wanna make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we’re gonna do it, come on and do it right
All I wanted was to know I’m safe
Don’t want to loose the love I’ve found
Remember when you said that would change?
Don’t let me down
It’s not fair, how you are
I can’t be complete
Can you give me more?
All I know is, you’ve got to give me everything
Nothing else cause, you know I give you all of me …
That’s a portion of Gwen Stefani’s song ‘4 in the Morning’ (Great concert by the way)
The significance is that it was my ex-husbands favorite track on the Sweet Escape album. (Album? Do we still say that? I truly don’t know).
Now, there’s always at least two sides to every story – and I’m not going to put him down here.
The good times were really really good. I was very comfortable with him. We laughed a LOT, we played a lot, we were friends. We had tons in common and he was thoughtful and giving and I never thought for one second that he didn’t love me.
My drinking was increasingly becoming a problem. Every time I drank, we would argue. He’d say it was just the alcohol – I’d counter with, ‘NO! These are REAL issues, I’m just brave enough to be able to mention them when I drink!’ There was no winning. We both lost. I told him I would stop. And he thought I did.
I have to be honest, hiding it was a high in and of itself. My little secret. My thing that I had that was mine. Hey – as ugly as it was, it was mine and no one knew.
I wasn’t falling down, passing out in my own vomit, not taking care of the home or family, beating the children OR kicking the dog but – I was blacking out, not completely available or present and I was MISERABLE.
I was hiding my drinking for over a year. I was emotionally and spiritually deflated. It got to the point that I couldn’t stop on my own and that scared me! I decided enough was enough, and when I had one complete day sober, I came clean with him that I had never stopped.
In my early sobriety I told him I didn’t want to be married to him anymore. It dawned on me after he left that ‘4 in the Morning’ was his song to me. (he mentioned the song A LOT – took some time with a clear head for that to click)
Ending the marriage is not something I regret. I hadn’t been happy in it for a while. But, I do regret that he didn’t have the sober wife he deserved. He did deserve that.
I’ve learned a lot in my sobriety and one of the most important things (and the way I like to sum it up) is that we need to keep our eyes on our own paper.
Someone else’s actions may very well be responsible for your pain or anger, but, we only have the power to change our part in it. Whether that part is staying in a bad situation, allowing toxic behavior or whether you have a huge part that you need to make amends for and be willing to make serious changes to correct.
I told him before our divorce was final how very sorry I was for my part. He accepted my apology and told me he just wanted me to be happy.
Well, I haven’t had a drink in exactly 948 days today. And I couldn’t be happier.
Debauchery Soup 