I had become …


Comfortably numb.

This will be a serious post.

Over 9000 people have read my words.  9000 people  have in essence, read my diary.

I’m undergoing a metamorphosis of sorts.  Still safe in my cocoon, but allowing myself to grow and change and take one of the dead bolts off of a door of opportunity.

I imagine I’ll emerge with fragile wings – still clinging to the husk that was my safe place for so long.

I’ll be still – and feel the winds of change around me and know that they are making me stronger – drying those wings.

image

I’ve been deep in thought, in my cocoon.  Contemplating, pondering, analyzing, processing.   This is how I do things.  I do not chide myself for this.

After years of foolish abandon, how can I not believe this to be growth?

I processed Nic growing from child to man – you were there with me. Thank you.

I processed my past to some relief – you were there with me.  Thank you.

Is it any wonder my profession is that of Processor?  Funny, I hadn’t thought about that until just now.

I take information given to me and make sense of it.  Turn it into something real – affording customers I come to adore a home.

I make it personal.

I make it personal … at work, with strangers that become friends.

Yet I still struggle with taking my personal life to another level.

I joke about becoming a cat lady – but really, I was going to be okay with that.

I had become, comfortably numb.

But, I’ve been listening to music lately.  Not the radio.  But, deep immersion – head phones, staring up at the night sky – feeling as though I’m on the prespicice of something.  An awakening.

My heart swells and my soul warms my shell.

A new chapter is perhaps ready to be written.

And if you’re here with me – thank you.

Advertisements

About debaucherysoup

I've traveled 4 continents, affording me experiences and adventures to last a lifetime. Most important was the exposure to other cultures, beliefs and lifestyles. I'm also mom to one of the most amazing human beings I know.

Posted on April 30, 2013, in Gratitude, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. And … I can’t count. Originally thought I was 7 away from 10000. The OCD me had to unpublish, change the figures. But if I leave this post and don’t write anymore, it will get to 10000 lol

  2. How exciting! I wonder what new and wonderful adventures are around the corner for you! Many a night, I sat in the field by my house, and listened to Neil Young, and thought about my own life. I never really had a vision of the future..but always hope. Those were some amazing nights, big sparkly nights. I am happy for you.

  3. Congrats on 9000 views! That’s a lot. Great job… 🙂

  4. Many blessings to you,

    I like what you have written and admire your honesty. Not all can do that, you are on a journey and He will always be with you. He wants you to be nourished, He wants you to blossom, and He wants to guide you all the way. Lean not on your own understanding, ask the Lord for He is always faithful. He will show you who you are in Christ, Jesus. Truly interesting. Keep on for the glory of God.

    When you get an opportunity, God willing, maybe walk through that door and take a stroll through my blog and share some feed-back. It would be greatly appreciated.

    God bless

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: