If you love someone – get them out!


Nic will be 18 in 18 days.  I’ve struggled with this, of course, I want to keep him close.  I don’t want his childhood to be over.  I don’t want to lose what we have. 

But God doesn’t have grandchildren. 

Nic has his own life waiting for him.  AND, it is HIS life.  I can want things for him – as parents, we do that.  But unless he wants something for himself, it’s not going to happen. 

I could hand him a golden ticket to an Ivy League university – all expenses paid, but unless he WANTS to pursue academics, it would be a waste.  

Tonight, my sons eyes lit up and I saw in him a ‘want’.  A want that I can totally get behind.

My mom just returned from England.  She was visiting my Nannie who just turned 90. 

 I was born in Windsor, England.  Lived there until 1980, when we immigrated to the US.

Before that move, my mom and I traveled.  We went from France to India cross-country.  That deserves a post of its own.  But suffice it to say, I experienced A LOT.  We were crossing borders before they shut them down, Argo had nothing on us. 

I digress.

Nics eyes were shining.  We had been to my moms to collect the bits and pieces she brought back for us. 

Photo time!

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The English sweets I requested.

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Nic with the Union Jack he requested

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Me counting the English currency left over. No, I didn’t get to keep it.

Now look at this photo – this was taken around the corner from my house. 

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It says ‘Get Out’.  I don’t know why.  I don’t know who sprayed that on there.  I’m sure there’s an interesting story behind the tagging. 

Get Out.

Back to Nics shining eyes.

I still have a lot of family in England.  And friends.

Nic has said before that he wants to go to the UK. 

He’ll be graduating High School in May.  My mom will be returning to England in July-ish. 

I will be getting paperwork for a passport.

I will be saving every penny I can save.

I will push Nic out of this desert nest and into my home country.

I want him to have an experience.  I want him to make some memories.  I want him to be submerged in other cultures, other languages, other ideas and lifestyles.  Nic wants this too.

I imagine him traveling to France, perhaps staying in a Hostel.  (Hopefully not one out of that horror movie!) 

Meeting family members he’s never met before.  Spreading his wings and figuring out what he wants next. 

I will miss him.  I don’t want him just going for a few weeks – I want him to take complete advantage of being overseas. 

I WANT to miss him.  I want him to return (if that’s what he chooses) and have a purpose.  Not be stagnant in a small town and enrolled in community college, while vying for one of a few part-time jobs in this area.

Hopefully, he’ll return with memories of adventures and an idea of what he wants to be and how he wants to achieve that.  And I’ll support whatever that is too.

My mind is reeling trying to think of how to make this happen for him.  What can I sell?  How can I save?  I will do this. 

I will do it as if his life depends upon it – because in a lot of ways, it does. 

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About debaucherysoup

I've traveled 4 continents, affording me experiences and adventures to last a lifetime. Most important was the exposure to other cultures, beliefs and lifestyles. I'm also mom to one of the most amazing human beings I know.

Posted on March 13, 2013, in Motherhood and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. What a brilliant idea!! That would be a blast for him! I’ve never been out of the country, England or Italy, (o.k. Norway too!) would all be on my list of places to go. I hope this can happen for the both of you, a healthy growing experience.

    • Exactly. I’m so grateful for the experiences I had. Being exposed to real life. War – poverty – diversity. Not just seeing it in a movie. Walking through the Louvre, taking my shoes off and covering my head in a temple, Rome, Greece, Paris, Iran, Afghanistan, India … so many lessons you can not get in a classroom. I was given compassion, understanding, tolerance and wisdom. Amazing.

  2. I will be honest — I’m more than a bit jealous. I wish my own mother had the same way of thinking. Instead, it seems like she has done everything in her power to keep me exactly where I am, regardless of my wanting to move and experience life. Nic will have an amazing time, and come back home with a whole new perceptive on life. I’m excited for him.

    • I’m so sorry. You can decide you want it for yourself though. If you have no one encouraging your dreams, I’ll do it. 🙂 You can do whatever you set your mind to Raven. Thank you for being excited for my son. I’m excited for him too. I hope it all comes together. x

  3. Reblogged this on knocked over by a feather and commented:
    Bittersweet and heart-felt. What a wonderful mother.

  4. Can you adopt me? I’m a little old in the tooth, but my eyes would light up like Nic’s at the thought of being able to see even a slice of Europe!

    As a Mom, I know you will accomplish your goal..no matter what it takes! If you work together as a team, nothing is impossible.

    The picture of the trailer disturbs me..but I’m just going to believe it’s another cranky person like me chasing people away from their fruit trees.

    Best of Luck and keep us updated!

    • It is disturbing isn’t it? Makes me shudder. Thank you for your words of encouragement, I’ll obviously keep everyone apprised of our progress. :). And I’ll adopt you anyway.

  5. Beautiful post, you’re a great mom. There’s nothing like traveling to open your eyes to so much of the world. Good luck to your son on his adventures!

  6. Reblogged this on MetaRead360 Small Press presents and commented:
    Note to Self: Re-read Childhood’s End by Arthur C. Clarke…and…thinking why it has not made it to the big screen after being in print 60 years!?!

  1. Pingback: Departure day | Debauchery Soup

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