Almost every morning while brushing my teeth a song pops into my head. Very random songs from every genre of music. I like to think it’s my subconscious sending me a message.
Today it was this song:
I have been (unsuccessfully) trying to hold myself together since my love left on Thursday.
I threw myself into cleaning the house – rearranging furniture – nesting basically. And every night I’ve reached out for a foot that used to be there.
I’ve been a wreck internally – but smiling and carrying on because I know that’s what people want me to do.
But it’s important that I mend.
This morning, I put my clothes in the washing machines and headed off to run an errand. On my drive I saw the most amazing thing. Dozens of black birds sitting on and around a beautiful irrigation gate on the Indian reservation. I immediately wanted to take a photo – but thought, “I’ll do it on the way back.”
On the way back – they were gone.
I missed that opportunity. Something beautiful was there and I put off capturing it, but I did at least have the moment.
I’m feeling a little like that now with life.
But, I’ve got to stop sobbing and appreciate that I had the moment.