Almost every morning while brushing my teeth a song pops into my head.  Very random songs from every genre of music.  I like to think it’s my subconscious sending me a message.

Today it was this song:

I have been (unsuccessfully) trying to hold myself together since my love left on Thursday.

I threw myself into cleaning the house – rearranging furniture – nesting basically.  And every night I’ve reached out for a foot that used to be there.

I’ve been a wreck internally – but smiling and carrying on because I know that’s what people want me to do.

But it’s important that I mend.

This morning, I put my clothes in the washing machines and headed off to run an errand.  On my drive I saw the most amazing thing.  Dozens of black birds sitting on and around a beautiful irrigation gate on the Indian reservation.  I immediately wanted to take a photo – but thought, “I’ll do it on the way back.”

On the way back – they were gone.

I missed that opportunity.  Something beautiful was there and I put off capturing it, but I did at least have the moment.

I’m feeling a little like that now with life.

But, I’ve got to stop sobbing and appreciate that I had the moment.