While routine soothes me – it’s beginning to become glaucoma groundhog day each Sunday.
Bless my little glaucoma man, but for 5 minutes I stood holding an empty canister of laundry sprinkles, listening to him share the latest about his eyes.
My little pocket man is apparently in the hospital – remember him? The one I gave a band-aid to? I just overheard that exchange between his wife and glaucoma man.
That makes me sad.
I just ventured over to the coffee pot in hopes there was some caffeine awaiting. There was.
Laundry lady: I made it just for YOU
Me: You’re a lamb – that’s what you are.
You get connected to people you know?
Just said good-bye to glaucoma man … I’m missing little pocket man. And staring at an ’emotional support’ dog sniffing around the place. Wishing it would come close enough to take a photo of.
I could use some ’emotional support’ right now.
Spent Friday night going through my worldly possessions – and some of them HAVE in fact possessed me. Going through my closet was akin to Mr. Toads Wild Ride.
I looked at old photos – old cards – old diaries and letters. Old ways of thinking, old mistakes … ended up burning a book hoping for some sense of closure.
The book would not burn! I started outside, dug a hole in the dirt (emotional or not, I am a sensible fire starter) and struck match, after match, after match – to no avail. Ended up coming inside and just doing it in the kitchen sink. Only the cover ended up catching fire – but it was enough. I soaked the fire out and put the book in the trash.
There’s more that must go.
I have this visceral need to remove toxic memories from a home that will be filled with new and amazing ones.
Ever mindful of course, not to forget the lessons I’ve accumulated along my crazy path.
I then got nostalgic – as you do when you’ve just poured through photos. And sat listening to songs (when I should have been cleaning) and stayed up way too late.
Posting stupid things on Facebook – okay, let’s be fair to myself for once, I posted honest and immediate feelings I was having – then deleted them the next morning. I am so very bad at editing myself. I give too much of myself away. Then remember, not everyone wants to know what’s going through my head. If they do … probably they’ll come here. lol.
Anyway – the songs calmed me, songs always do, and with my room in shambles – memories strewn about the place – I found sleep.
This song reminded me of life’s twists, turns and arriving back to my honey.