I’ve been sad again.  And while examining the ‘sad’ I narrowed the root cause down to a need for two things.

Consistency and authenticity.

These are things I need.

To be able to count on someone or something.

To be told the truth, and never left feeling confused and worried due to lies or omission.

I can handle the truth.

I can move on with truth.

I keep getting told how strong I am, so it must be true.

I need truth.

If I’m willing to do the work – whether it be at home, in the workplace or within my relationships with people, I need it to be reciprocated.

I’m loyal to a degree of ridiculousness.

I’m consistent – you can count on me.  I’m honest, (sometimes too honest, I know this.)

I need those things in return.

My mom offered me some advice the other day: “They don’t care about you, you need to look out for yourself.”

I won’t say who ‘they’ are, but she had a point.

The problem is, I still care about them.  I care about the time and work and heart I’ve put in.

I’m never going to abandon a place or person until I’m sure I’ve tried my very best.  Because I have to live with myself after they’re gone.