I’ve been sad again. And while examining the ‘sad’ I narrowed the root cause down to a need for two things.
Consistency and authenticity.
These are things I need.
To be able to count on someone or something.
To be told the truth, and never left feeling confused and worried due to lies or omission.
I can handle the truth.
I can move on with truth.
I keep getting told how strong I am, so it must be true.
I need truth.
If I’m willing to do the work – whether it be at home, in the workplace or within my relationships with people, I need it to be reciprocated.
I’m loyal to a degree of ridiculousness.
I’m consistent – you can count on me. I’m honest, (sometimes too honest, I know this.)
I need those things in return.
My mom offered me some advice the other day: “They don’t care about you, you need to look out for yourself.”
I won’t say who ‘they’ are, but she had a point.
The problem is, I still care about them. I care about the time and work and heart I’ve put in.
I’m never going to abandon a place or person until I’m sure I’ve tried my very best. Because I have to live with myself after they’re gone.