Posted by debaucherysoup
First of all, HELLO! Finally got triple A batteries for my keyboard so I can reach out and post!
Well, well, well. After 2015 I was so certain of my future. I would be eaten by my abundance of cats and alone in pajamas.
This is why I’m glad I have a dog … Although, Butters would probably eat me too.
Not that I should worry so much about that anymore. 2016 brought someone very unexpected into my life.
We started out chatting I knew OF him since 6th grade but we weren’t in the same ‘clique’
That was then – this is now:
As a result of falling for this person, I overcame a HUGE fear. FLYING.
Bonkers, because I have flown so many times … mostly to and from England.
I was not afraid then.
It just got to a point where I was TERRIFIED of flying.
But, I needed to see Dante.
AND! I did it. Not once, not twice, but three times!!!!!!!! That’s 6 flights in 2016! I DID IT!
Started out in the aisle, kept my eyes on the air attendants. If they didn’t look panicky, I had no need to be. The other thing that helped me, that I think will help you? Once you’re going a certain “MPH” it’s like being in ‘Jello’ in the sky. Jello! Keep saying that to yourself. No, you’re not going to ever ‘fall out of the sky’.
OK, so I found love. I found hope.
My kidlet is still leaving.
You have your favorite person that you count on?
That’s been my kid for 21 years.
I haven’t even had a relationship longer than 5 years. My relationship with my son is THE ONE.
We have the same sense of humor, but he’s taken it to another level. He has talents I’ll never have. And not once, NOT ONCE has he made me feel ‘lacking’. Ever.
We can talk about anything. Always have.
Here’s the thing.
He’s moving so far away! To Kentucky. And the trip will be a treacherous one with snow, ice and other things he’s not had to navigate through.
Yes, I know the only way to learn how to do something is to DO it … but, there’s so much riding on such a long trip. I’m very scared. Not that I doubt his abilities, but such a drive with so much on the line … and other people on the road whose abilities I don’t know or trust. Bottom line – I’ll be holding my breath for 3 days. Thinking of nothing but him and waiting to hear his voice safely stopped for the night.
I have to accept that he’s making his decisions and I will never stop being afraid of them.
Then, last but clearly not least, those we lost this year … My beautiful Nannie and Tiny the cat.
I am now at that age also when friends and loved ones are receiving bad health news.
It barely felt like Christmas this year – I had very little joy in my heart. With so much change in the forecast.
I no longer care about ‘getting’ anything. I have too much! Too much ‘stuff” If I’m being honest, my favorite gift this year was a card. A card. From my guy. My second favorite, a ‘promise ring’. We’re taking things slowly.
It may just stay like this. Apart – but knowing someone in the world loves us.
I hope Nic feels that when we’re apart too.
I’ll always hold him tightly in my heart – while he spreads his wings and explores life as an adult.