Wow!  Did not anticipate the horrible sensation I experienced being outside the house today.

I leave the house everyday – I am not afraid to do so. 

For the past few years though, I’ve become increasingly uncomfortable in public places.

Today, I grabbed my purse, my keys – headed to the bank to withdraw my rent money. 

Had to stop and get gas first.  I knew, on the way to the gas station I was already feeling uncomfortable.

I don’t live in a high traffic area, but as I turned onto the main road, I may as well have been merging onto a freeway during rush hour in LA as far as my brain was concerned. 

The only way I can explain the sensation is … you know when you’ve been sick for a few days?  I mean, really sick – in bed sick.  Then you are testing your land legs for the first time, needing to go out. 

You feel disconnected from your body, but hyper aware and jumpy?

That’s how I feel lately in public places, including the road.

After the bank, I killed some time before my property management company opened by running into Walmart to pay off some of the Christmas lay away.

That picture is how the store felt, but it wasn’t that busy.  I didn’t stop and look at the Christmas aisles, I headed straight for the lay away counter, then right to an item I knew I wanted to get for my mom. 

I couldn’t have checked out fast enough.

Left the parking lot wanting to go home – but the whole point of the trip was to pay the rent.

Mission accomplished, but by then my nerves were so on edge I decided against a trip to the post office to get stamps. 

I just wanted to come home.

What is going on with me?  I was diagnosed with PTSD a while back, I’m wondering if it’s related to that, but if it is, why is it manifesting NOW?

I have never felt happier or more content?

You know, my crazy cat lady plan for the future just seems to be coming right along.

I have to go to the grocery store now.  I’m taking Nic with me.  I need an outing buddy.