An honest conversation.
You would think today I would have an opinion of a certain party and an inauguration.
I do, of course, but, it’s not foremost in my mind.
My mind is endlessly thinking of a woman I love.
The woman I connected with and understand.
The woman fighting stage 4 cancer.
Thing is … As much as I don’t edit myself with people, I don’t with her either.
When she was well, she never co-signed my bullshit. And I SO appreciated that!
Got to talk to her tonight.
I think she finds it refreshing. No platitudes. Just “So, what the heck? What do they say?” No “I’m praying for you.”
But I am.
To the God I don’t believe in.
I do like to keep it real and then SHE gets to keep it real with ME!
I get the full Monty, no editing.
And I get to ask again the questions other people avoid.
I love her too much not to know.
I love her too much not to be myself, and walk on eggshells. ‘Healthy her’ would HATE that!
Don’t get me wrong, I have bawled my eyeballs right out … Put them back in and ‘Amanda’d’ up!
Because, while I can be honest, and handle her honesty, I still have a very sick friend and it tears me up inside.
Next time I’m in line at the bank and people are bitching, I’ll say, not my usual, but “You realize, I have a friend that can’t even STAND UP and would give ANYTHING to be waiting in this fucking line!”
Don’t doubt it.
I’ll do it!
Posted on January 20, 2017, in Gratitude, Love and tagged acceptance, Cancer, laughter, Love, truth. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.
I understand your feelings, my friend, I dearly love this person also and felt every word you wrote deep in my heart. I am praying hard for her everyday.
Love you too, and I’d do the same. I know you would lol. “How many steps” xxxx
Was 32 now I am not sure if I can count this high! But never too far for a friend! Miss you my L’oreal sniffing, English Muffin! Please keep me posted on this mutual friends health!
Will do. Love and miss you too.