You would think today I would have an opinion of a certain party and an inauguration.

I do, of course, but, it’s not foremost in my mind.

My mind is endlessly thinking of a woman I love.

The woman I connected with and understand.

The woman fighting stage 4 cancer.

Thing is … As much as I don’t edit myself with people, I don’t with her either.

When she was well, she never co-signed my bullshit.  And I SO appreciated that!

Got to talk to her tonight.

I think she finds it refreshing.  No platitudes. Just “So, what the heck?  What do they say?”  No “I’m praying for you.”

But I am.

To the God I don’t believe in.

I do like to keep it real and then SHE gets to keep it real with ME!

I get the full Monty, no editing.

And I get to ask again the questions other people avoid.

I love her too much not to know.

I love her too much not to be myself, and walk on eggshells.  ‘Healthy her’ would HATE that!

Don’t get me wrong, I have bawled my eyeballs right out … Put them back in and ‘Amanda’d’ up!

Because, while I can be honest, and handle her honesty, I still have a very sick friend and it tears me up inside.

Next time I’m in line at the bank and people are bitching, I’ll say, not my usual, but “You realize, I have a friend that can’t even STAND UP and would give ANYTHING to be waiting in this fucking line!”

Don’t doubt it.

I’ll do it!