An honest conversation.


You would think today I would have an opinion of a certain party and an inauguration.

I do, of course, but, it’s not foremost in my mind.

My mind is endlessly thinking of a woman I love.

The woman I connected with and understand.

The woman fighting stage 4 cancer.

Thing is … As much as I don’t edit myself with people, I don’t with her either.

When she was well, she never co-signed my bullshit.  And I SO appreciated that!

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Got to talk to her tonight.

I think she finds it refreshing.  No platitudes. Just “So, what the heck?  What do they say?”  No “I’m praying for you.”

But I am.

To the God I don’t believe in.

I do like to keep it real and then SHE gets to keep it real with ME!

I get the full Monty, no editing.

And I get to ask again the questions other people avoid.

I love her too much not to know.

I love her too much not to be myself, and walk on eggshells.  ‘Healthy her’ would HATE that!

Don’t get me wrong, I have bawled my eyeballs right out … Put them back in and ‘Amanda’d’ up!

Because, while I can be honest, and handle her honesty, I still have a very sick friend and it tears me up inside.

Next time I’m in line at the bank and people are bitching, I’ll say, not my usual, but “You realize, I have a friend that can’t even STAND UP and would give ANYTHING to be waiting in this fucking line!”

Don’t doubt it.

I’ll do it!

 

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About debaucherysoup

I've traveled 4 continents, affording me experiences and adventures to last a lifetime. Most important was the exposure to other cultures, beliefs and lifestyles. I'm also mom to one of the most amazing human beings I know.

Posted on January 20, 2017, in Gratitude, Love and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I understand your feelings, my friend, I dearly love this person also and felt every word you wrote deep in my heart. I am praying hard for her everyday.

  2. Was 32 now I am not sure if I can count this high! But never too far for a friend! Miss you my L’oreal sniffing, English Muffin! Please keep me posted on this mutual friends health!

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