I am bananas over my guy.  And stayed up because he was worried about his best friends dog.

I had this song hit me – and thought about my very best friend.

The good times.  The young times.  The innocence and the not so innocent times.

And him.

Back in the college days, Lisa and I would get ready and go out.

Here we are through the years:

We always had such fun.  Not only did we have music we swooned to, but she had TONS of clothes, and she would rock them with her pixie hair cut and  I felt so … less than, and always loved her. We have memories of Nine Inch Nails … before you knew them. lol.  And always will. I have a top she loaned me, that I still have.  It’s too big  on me now.

It’s weird isn’t it?

How we grow and who stays and who doesn’t?   And when it comes to girlfriends, most of them stay.

But my best ‘boy’ friend back then … stayed.  For the most part.

Life took him in a crazy direction – but I found him.

It’s very odd that the guy I didn’t realize meant so much, would end up being my ever after.

I find it more strange, that my son turned out to be just the epitome of him.

A marvel comic fan.  A Dungeons and Dragons player – someone who marches to the beat of his own drum, and never has cared that anyone was in tune with him – while all along, he had a musical ability.

It’s crazy to me – that after 25 years, after clubs and ditching college classes and being my sons age – I should discover that the one I loved all along without knowing it, would be the one I loved.

I wrote to my sons girlfriend tonight.  I told her I was sorry.

That I had forgotten what it was like to be 20.  How important those feelings that I so easily discounted in my 40’s were back then.

They were important.

And real.

And if they mattered enough – they stuck in the 40’s … and still emerged butterflies.