I was going to name this post “God is a Terrorist”.

Pretty harsh – but fearing God is no small thing.

Terrorism: ‘The systematic use of terror especially as a means of coercion’

I think burning in the fiery pits of hell for eternity if you don’t adhere to a set of rules qualifies.

I stopped short though – because even after all of what I’m sharing below, I’m STILL scared I’m going to hell.

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I do fear God.

Man’s God.

The God of the books.

Who, in my opinion, due to purposefully edited pages for period relevant agendas – is misrepresented in the conglomeration.

I wanted to believe for years simply because I did not want to go to hell.

I was afraid not to believe.

Today I have,  a ‘God’.

And it is love. And it is good. And it is hope.

I believe we are born believing in those things – it’s inherently in us.

We expect good before we even know what ‘good’ is.  A baby will cry when angry voices are raised and I doubt it’s processing anything more than the negative energy, inherently knowing that only in positive energy will it survive and thrive.

A small child when abused for the first time, registers shock with the pain – it knows the parental action is contrary to love without anyone having to explain that to them.

The young have no prejudice – are open-minded – filled with wonder, hope, faith and dreams.

Then something happens along the way, I suppose the jaded of us knock those things right out of them.

We fuck it all up and then need to be reminded to be good.

Not to kill.

Not to steal.

Not to do the most basic of sins that we were born not wanting to do in the first place!

(In the interest of fairness, here’s a great article based on experiments that somewhat disagrees with me HERE)

I have to concede that in order for ‘good’ to encounter ‘bad’ – it must exist, and therefore, some of us are not born entirely ‘good’.  Evil?  I choose to call it Mentally Unhealthy.  A gene … a predisposition that when coupled with a negative environment can only breed something dark.

I’ll once again share my favorite quote of all time:

To my mind, there’s no disputing that the monsters under our bed are based on the monsters that sleep atop them.

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So let’s stick  with the premise that we’re fundamentally good.

Society functions better when we are ‘good’ together (Rand and Nietzsche may disagree, but stay with me)

Ironically, think of Christmas time.

For all intents and purposes, let’s take religion out of it.

Think only of the atmosphere – shops playing festive music, decorations adorning the mundane – from lamp posts to our own living rooms.  Strangers are nicer to one another (love) – anticipation is in the air (hope) and we’re thinking of others not ourselves (good).

Yes there’s a flip side to the holiday coin (pun intended), the stress of the material accumulation, preparing for guests, the huge expense of the ever exhausting increase of ‘gifting’ – but the FEELING of goodwill is undeniable.

Goodwill feels so much better naturally than hate.

I personally can’t be angry with someone without it tearing me up inside!  That horrible feeling in the gut I get when I’m in fear or in a bad mood is just awful.

And natural. It’s always been. It’s an internal physical response to adversity.

I couldn’t lie, steal, covet, be a glutton, murder, or any of those other no-no’s without such a feeling.

And I felt that long before I learned they were against ‘the rules’.

Because of our own mortality, we have the sensibility to know the severity of taking another’s life.

Because we feel pain, we’re aware it’s not a good thing and therefore do not inflict it on others – except as punishment.

So let’s just assume that we are hardwired for good – and come with the basic fundamentals of how to behave on this planet.

I tend to research … a LOT when I’m pulled in different directions with a topic. I watched documentary after documentary about religion – about Christianity – about Atheism.

Documentaries that I hoped would be packed with fact and educational material for me, the ignorant seeker.

(I have a whole other post planned for ‘documentaries’.  I’ve almost completely lost faith in them after getting some firsthand insight into how they are made, and especially after watching someone present themselves in a fashion not practiced in ‘real life’)

But, that is for another day.

I watched “The Unbelievers” featuring Dawkins and Krauss. I was in complete agreement with most of all the film.  I wonder sometimes if my mind is too open.  I’m mailable – and I know it.

I fell for a lot of Brian Flemmings “The God Who Wasn’t There”, especially when introduced to the Christ Myth and Graves 16 Crucified Saviors.

I was intrigued.

Then he lost me when he personally attacked someone with a derogatory comment.

I hate that. If your points are valid – stick to them. Don’t resort to name calling to try to win a debate.

It only weakens your reputation in my eyes and takes your argument with it.

I’ve seen 100’s of documentaries – obsessed with truth-seeking.

I’ve been moved to tears, had lifelong opinions challenged and changed and been introduced to people, places and situations I may otherwise never have encountered.

I even found my love through a documentary.

But I don’t believe ALL I read/hear.

I found a great rebuttal to the Jesus/Horus comparisons here: http://www.jonsorensen.net/2012/10/25/horus-manure-debunking-the-jesushorus-connection/    You really have to read the comments to get the full effect.

I love the back and forth – the freedom to disagree.  “Permission to question”.

But there will always be people who pick and choose facts and leave out some details that don’t support their argument. (Another reason I’ve gone off documentaries)

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I got to thinking, if tomorrow God was proven to be nothing but a myth, would I murder? If I no longer feared hell, would I sin just because I could?

No.

No I wouldn’t.

Because there are other repercussions here on earth – it would affect my quality of life and of those around me.  Repercussions of the heart – of our mental health – of our souls.  Yes.  I believe in a soul.

I believe that unexplainable part of us that gives us goosebumps when an achingly beautiful piece of music is played, is our soul.  That part of us that fills with warmth when we watch our children sleeping – is our soul.  That small voice reminding us to choose ‘good’ – is our soul.

We’re wired to want to be a part of something, to commune with others.  We’re born with specific and individual talents and abilities so that when joined with others, we become an orchestra of humanity.

However you want to stay in touch with your humanity is fine by me – and I don’t take task with those who have unbridled Faith and use their powers for good.  It’s those who are almost brainwashed – killing in the name of their religion.  Those who look down on those who do not practice the same rituals, pray the same way or believe the same things that have me shuddering at organized religion.

And I won’t be a part of it.

I’ll stick to continual seeking – an open mind – and a unwavering belief in Love, Hope and Goodness.