I had the Happy Day’s theme song playing in my head this morning – not for any nostalgic reasons – and I re-worked the lyrics to a little something like this:

“One o’clock, two o’clock, three o’clock F@&%!”

The first time I was summoned from sleep by my whining manatee was one a.m. precisely.

I slowly peeled my eyes open to the dim sight of Butters a mere inch away from my head.

She’s pretty patient when it comes to waiting for me to struggle out of bed and shuffle towards the front door.

Pretty patient for such a whining, antsy, slumber saboteur.

At the door I heard the most annoying noise.

Loud – squealing – chirping.

I’m trying NOT to wake up completely, so I’m only using a portion of my faculties on purpose – I did manage to wonder if maybe a cicada was right outside?

Did I want it inside? No.

Did I have the energy to care? No.

Then I thought it sounded like a small car malfunctioning fan belt.

Did I want a small car inside? No.

Did I have the energy to care? No.

Out the dog went without the introduction of either cicada, or small car into my humble abode.

Back to bed I went, without any concern for the open front door.

Next time I’ll just hang little welcome signs up for any scorpions or sun spiders and any other nocturnal creepy crawly hard shelled nightmares.

Ooo! Here we have a sun spider actually eating a cicada.

As far as I know, the only creature that entered the house after I stomped back to my bed was of the 4 legged variety.

I know this because approximately an hour later, said 4 legged creature wanted back outside.

1. Whine.

2. Stare.

3. Come within inch of human.

4. Whine again.

5. Repeat.

Almost e v e r y hour on the hour.

This morning – as Butters somehow managed her 5:30 a.m. wake up call after her restless night, I discovered the source of both the noise, and what must have bugging my insomni-pup.

The neighbors.

Not directly them this time – but their air conditioning unit.

As I stood on the porch with my coffee I heard the screech and whine of a slipping belt coming from it.

Wonderful.

I hope it doesn’t break completely – as the Fonz and I wouldn’t want them not being ‘cool’.

Correction!: Okay, OKAY!!!  As a testament to how tired I am – I will tell you that I only NOW realized, after publishing,  that the song in my head was not the Happy Days theme song at all – but this one.  Jeez.

I’m not changing it though – because then I’ll lose my whole Fonz/Cool thing.  Ayyyy!

I need sleep.