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Musings from the Laundromat: Fawn Legs, Secret Apple eating Agents and ARC edition

This is the last I’m going to speak of being sick. I think if I convince myself I’m better, my body will follow. Besides, it gets boring being sick, I can only imagine how it feels reading about it.

I’m late at the laundromat – put English comedy on last night and it proceeded to watch me. I have slept so much it’s bonkers.

Felt like a weighted newborn fawn this morning balancing the two hefty laundry baskets on either side of my thinner frame. (I’ve lost a few pounds in the process of mending.)

Throat still sore – a few coughs, but I’m sure I’m not contagious anymore, so, back to work tomorrow. I’ve missed everyone! I have! And was a little concerned when I was conscious, that work hadn’t called me. Then Friday, I got the call. Yes, they still knew I existed and yes, my inbox was growing taller by the day with work. I was VERY happy about this.

I then got an email that I, in one hundred years would not have expected.

It was from one of my favorite authors.

Would I like an ARC of his new book?

Are you kidding me? First of all, he somehow remembered me from 2013 and secondly, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

I proceeded to fan girl out and make a fool of myself. To be fair, I was still on pain killers, antibiotics and depleted human skills.

Well, I hope I didn’t scare him off too badly.

And yes, of course I asked for an interview – and he said yes. That’s if he talks to me again.

I’ve been doing a lot of stupid things lately. Not feeling like myself.

Not feeling like I even like myself of late either. Good thing is, I can absolutely change all of that.

I’ve got to focus. Regroup. Prioritize.

In the meantime, here I am, at the laundromat – taking care of business and … thinking about my next nap if I’m being completely honest.

In between sleeping, I did manage to catch up on all the Agents of Shield episodes on Netflix though.

And it’s either THAT, or the fact that he DOES look like an agent that has me cutting my eye over at this man across from me right now.

Nonchalantly eating an apple and reading a magazine. Not just any magazine, but, as I walked by him to collect my washing, I did my surveillance – it’s a gossip rag. Look at the posture? Who sits like that anymore? (She says jealously.) And he’s wearing nice shoes.

Hmmmm …. definitely some sort of law enforcement or undercover agent sent to check on the infected.

I’m exhausted. My little shaky fawn legs clearly aren’t the only deer traits I’ve adopted. I’m staring at him whilst typing with wary eyes and ready to leap if I hear a leaf crunch.

Yeah, ok, that’s silly – there are no leaves. But you know what I mean.

Only thing that doesn’t fit is, he does have his back to the room.

I’m losing it.

Told you I was sick.

But if you don’t hear from me next week – send out the cavalry. I could be in a quarantined area much like the one in Fear the Walking Dead!!!

THEN how would I get my ARC of Kiesbye’s book???

Posted on October 4, 2015 | Video

The day I knew I was a grown up, then so wasn’t.

Sep 30

Posted by debaucherysoup

I spent the last couple of days sleeping, and when not sleeping, trying not to cough.

Not because it hurt, because, oh, it did – but, because I’ve never been that ‘Sniffle, sniffle, oh can’t you see I’m sniffling because I’m sick??’ girl.

Person even. Not just girl.

You know those people. Those people who are sick, but the minute you ASK them, “How are you?” suddenly develop more of a cough or MORE of a sniffle – for emphasis. And bless those that need that attention. But I wear big girl panties.

Ok, I’m stubborn.

So, after fighting a fever the day after the failure of a fun lunar eclipse night – I knew I had Tuesday off due to a text message. I had informed my employees that I had pink eye for the sole purpose of them maybe just not touching the phone I used or my mouse in my absence on Monday (my planned ‘vacation’ day off.)

I was informed, do not show up Tuesday.

Couldn’t really argue because I was having a hard time standing or feeling human on Monday.

So I didn’t.

And I slept.

I slept SO hard. I felt awful. My throat was now hurting. When I say ‘hurting’ – I’ve been through a vaginal birth with no epidural – so … on a scale from 1-10, breathing AIR was like someone had a freaking flame thrower in my throat. Although, we ARE in the desert.

Today, I stumbled up and dressed and went in early to handle two days worth of ‘without’ me inbox. Hoping there would be an inbox like that anyway.

And there was! Yay! I am relevant.

Although, I was also with strep throat.

I didn’t know until this morning.

My tongue reminded me of that scene from Jurassic Park.

And yeah, here’s a real one … gird your loins.

BUT! I thought, so cleverly, I broke fever yesterday – surely I can’t be contagious – so I went in, cleared my inbox, cleared my email – felt … miserable. BUT! Accomplished.

And I’m TRYING not to cough.

Then the phone rings, and in an attempt to try NOT to cough, I ended up swallowing phlegm and sounding as sick as I felt. To one of my bosses. On the other end of the phone.

Wonderful. Not.

I did NOT want to use anymore sick time!

I was being SUCH a grown up!

And – was told to go home.

I researched strep throat, assured my boss that I would be a full 24 hours on antibiotics and could I PLEASE come in to work tomorrow?

(That’s another grown up part. Although I didn’t take any before, I had some. I was saving them for when Nic was sick, but, now he has insurance.)

I was told no.

And proceeded to lose it.

Didn’t feel well, was scared of them doing well without me and … the dam burst.

First I’m in Nic’s arms, (trying not to breathe on him) after he asked me why I’m crying.

Then, I’m in the lap of my honey and choking out, “I just don’t FEEL well and I want to be at WOOOORK and … OMG! DO YOU SEE THAT????? I have OLD WOMAN LEG WRINKLES!”

Yeah. I lost it.

And he was like a deer in headlights.

And I’m wiping my nose, bawling and pacing and spraying that awful numbing medicine down my throat and still crying – and it’s a carnival of … horrible!

Then came … “And I …. I … I want my MOM!”

Who, I should mention, is currently in England.

BACK from adulthood to being a child.

Amazingly though, after getting THAT out of my system, and managing somehow to make my throat feel worse (surprise, surprise) my emotional state feels better.

Sometimes we just need that love.

To be vulnerable.

To admit, we feel f&*%ing awful and need someone.

Only now it’s not just mom. That hug Nic gave me meant the world to me – and concern was in his eyes (as was horror, but lets face it, I don’t look too hot – which, WAS confirmed by another boss this morning.)

And as for my future husband? He reminded me that there is a reason he does not work in a hospital. But I’ll give him this, he offered me ice this weekend and left me alone to sleep. That’s a deer in headlights with some kindness.

As for work?

I know they don’t want to get sick. They can’t. They don’t have time for it. I also know they love me.

Posted in Humor, Motherhood