While routine soothes me – it’s beginning to become glaucoma groundhog day each Sunday.

Bless my little glaucoma man, but for 5 minutes I stood holding an empty canister of laundry sprinkles, listening to him share the latest about his eyes.

My little pocket man is apparently in the hospital – remember him?  The one I  gave a band-aid to?  I just overheard that exchange between his wife and glaucoma man.

That makes me sad.

I just ventured over to the coffee pot in hopes there was some caffeine awaiting.  There was.

Laundry lady: I made it just for YOU

Me: You’re a lamb – that’s what you are.

You get connected to people you know?

Just said good-bye to glaucoma man … I’m missing little pocket man.  And staring at an ’emotional support’ dog sniffing around the place. Wishing it would come close enough to take a photo of.

I could use some ’emotional support’ right now.

Spent Friday night going through my worldly possessions – and some of them HAVE in fact possessed me.  Going through my closet was akin to Mr. Toads Wild Ride.

I looked at old photos – old cards – old diaries and letters.  Old ways of thinking, old mistakes … ended up burning a book hoping for some sense of closure.

The book would not burn!  I started outside, dug a hole in the dirt (emotional or not, I am a sensible fire starter) and struck match, after match, after match – to no avail.  Ended up coming inside and just doing it in the kitchen sink.  Only the cover ended up catching fire – but it was enough.  I soaked the fire out and put the book in the trash.

Done.

There’s more that must go.

I have this visceral need to remove toxic memories from a home that will be filled with new and amazing ones.

Ever mindful of course, not to forget the lessons I’ve accumulated along my crazy path.

I then got nostalgic – as you do when you’ve just poured through photos.  And sat listening to songs (when I should have been cleaning) and stayed up way too late.

Posting stupid things on Facebook – okay, let’s be fair to myself for once, I posted honest and immediate feelings I was having – then deleted them the next morning.  I am so very bad at editing myself.  I give too much of myself away.  Then remember, not everyone wants to know what’s going through my head.  If they do … probably they’ll come here. lol.

Anyway – the songs calmed me, songs always do, and with my room in shambles – memories strewn about the place – I found sleep.

This song reminded me of life’s twists, turns and arriving back to my honey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xqu9qhBHWNs