My parents cool deck needs some work. They do what they can, but I came out of a day of swimming looking like I’ve been beaten up. I had to explain each wound to my co-workers.
No, he doesn’t hit me.
No, this isn’t a ‘sex’ wound.
No, I didn’t fall down.
I DID take full advantage of the pool. But the coating on the side is like cut glass – and when they’ve spent as much as they have getting the INSIDE suitable for water and swimming, who could blame them for waiting on ‘aesthetics’?
But I suffered. Every knuckle. Every knee. Every arm that hung onto the side to chat, then turn to respond to someone – injured. I can LOOK at something and be injured by it. It’s ridiculous. I bruise so easily.
I bleed easily too.
I will not speak of that night. Let’s just say, 95% of it was freaking awesome, and the other 5%? Well, when you have people imbibing and that love one another – shite happens. Because we feel safe being ourselves.
And sometimes ourselves isn’t who we want to be.
Then there was the ‘plank off’ which I INSISTED on – although my very fit mom told me was not a great idea. My core is still hurting today. LOL!
Here’s some pics from the party, then we’ll get to the menagerie.
Fun time was had by all – until it wasn’t a fun time.
I have GOT to learn to let go.
To appreciate what I have and quit living in the past.
ANYWAY – this thing showed up ….
Did I NOT tell Nic “no more critters???”
So, now he has like a dozen fish – a hamster (the first critter, whose name is Scarelett, but forever I will call ‘Scratchy’.) Now a Guinea Pig who looks at me with sad eyes.
I thought tonight, ‘Eff it!’ and brought Butters in. Let her explore the new smell.
She did great! But then … Draper marched in – and I, in my ninja, stupid, only human mode did a tuck and roll onto the floor I’ve only seen in movies.
Was enough to alarm the cat who I’m sure was thinking “What the ‘F’ is she DOING??????” And I twisted my toe.
SO unnecessarily twisted my toe. Add that to the injury list. LOL!
Sorry Paltrow, I can never be a body double, because I maim myself just LOOKING at something.
Animals are settled for the night.
Nic is gone, because he’s saying ‘bye for now’ to his true love going back to college out-of-state – and I have my honey working his arse off for his art.
Wounds I couldn’t let go that 5% of the night.
And very visible wounds I can’t stop saying ‘ouch!’ to today.
Him: “Let’s go in, it’s really starting to come down.”
Me: “Oh my God, I just had a flash forward … is this us at 80? ‘It’s really comin’ down honey’.”
But when did we become this?
Not ‘we’ as in my honey and I, but ‘we’ meaning … I guess me and my age? Or, the anonymous ‘they’ at my age?
I was always taught by my mother “You’re not made of sugar, you won’t melt.”
I loved that.
I love the rain.
I love the sulphur scent – the asphalt and dirt kicking their unique fragrance into the air.
I love the misting on my body. Especially in the desert.
Love watching the lightning.
Bracing myself for the BOOM! of thunder.
As a result, and probably because I don’t wear a ton of makeup, I’m not afraid to get caught in the rain. (And yes, Pina Coladas and making love at midnight are nice too.)
I’ll cut to the quick – it’s almost 3 weeks since I’ve had my car.
Today, a dear friend and her husband loaned me their ‘beater’ which is anything but. It’s a trustworthy Toyota.
I was told to go home when a haboob presented itself – crossing the river.
(I did end up getting caught in it, which was bonkers.)
Was nice to be able to just go home – in juxtaposition to yesterday when I waited two hours after work for my son to get off of work and collect me.
Without a car, I feel so impotent.
But then I focused on the good.
That someone WAS coming – that I had a home to go home to bone tired.
That I was safe waiting where I was.
And knowing that NOW, finally, the mechanics are on my side (I really don’t want to go into that whole story, just know, it’s at least a ginormous post worth of negativity – and I don’t need negativity right now.)
Another part has been ordered, I was even offered a cell number to one of the owners and was offered use of his extra car.
Things are looking up.
And tomorrow is my honey’s birthday. SO glad he was born. And I’m gonna go sit back out in the rain – because life is beautiful.
Friends are too.
And here’s an old favorite of mine to put you in my rainy, yet grateful mood. Song is apropos for the time I spent looking for Jim to be back in my life too. God, how I missed him.
As I said in my earlier post, the laundromat was empty. I had clothes in the dryer by the time another patron came in.
She was stunning.
She seemed lost.
She approached the detergent dispensary by my table and asked, “This doesn’t take change?”
“No”, I told her “You have to use your card.”
And she got the detergent and then took her meager load of laundry to a machine. I didn’t think much of it after that – I was writing my post.
She came back.
Hair in a disheveled pony tail – no make up, still drop dead gorgeous.
“If someone went between your legs and took everything, and they’re not your boyfriend, is that wrong?”
I glanced up, was momentarily confused and shocked at such an out of nowhere comment and then, “Um, yeah, that’s wrong.”
Not even sure what she was talking about. But it sounded wrong. And the childlike, confused look on HER face, immediately engaged me.
This woman obviously needed to chat. This woman was also either on something, or had a mental issue. This woman was so beautiful and SO lost.
“What if someone makes you sell everything? What if someone puts cameras in your car?”
“Um, yeah – that doesn’t sound good either.”
“Yes! OK, that’s wrong.”
(How does she not know this?)
Other comments she made:
“People tell me I’m beautiful, but I’ve been hit so many times, it’s amazing I can even smile anymore.”
“This is a small town right? A lot of gossip?”
“I’m so broke.”
“I think I’m going to go into prostitution, this (as she directed attention to her face and body) is all I have.”
“I spent $5,000 on a broken tooth, that’s wrong, right?”
“I have no one to hold me at night – I need someone to take care of me.”
“I have panic attacks, you know, in that show, Modern Family, there’s this guy who freaks out over birds, that’s me!”
“You know, at our age (after she confirmed she was Sophia Vegara’s age – who is in her latter 30’s, so you know I appreciated being included in ‘that age’ when I wasn’t lol) our menstrual cycles change!”
By this time, I’d already invited her to my table.
“You ARE beautiful.”
“No, don’t do that.”
“You need to work on yourself, stay away from toxic people.”
“You get to decide who you want to be, let the right ones in.”
“Yeah! Yeah!” She said. “That’s what a police officer said to me.
“Do you think people with money want to hurt you? I don’t want a mansion.”
“Nah, I said, you don’t. Too much to clean.”
That got a laugh.
After dozens of disconnected questions and back and forth, I was now folding.
“Come here.” I said.
And held her. Her small arms wrapped around me and we were alone in that laundromat and something strange and purposeful was happening.
“I’m here every Sunday.” I said.
I wanted to give her my card – but there was a part of me that didn’t feel like I had the right advice for her.
Who am I?
Who am I to give advice?
But I think I was in the right place at the right time.
“My name is Jenna … and you are?”
“Amanda …. thank you.”
And at that moment, I knew she would be in my head.
She’s staying at a hotel. She doesn’t have a job. She used to model.
“Jenna, sometimes the rich are more miserable than you can imagine – those that have ‘enough’ usually don’t have ulterior motives, they are giving what they can from their heart. ”
“I have no one to hold me at night. I have no one to take care of me.”
“You have to take care of yourself. Learn to be alone. Learn to love yourSELF. Then you’ll attract the right people.”
Her childlike responses – her manic bouncing just endeared her to me.
Then I remembered, I wouldn’t be at the laundromat next Sunday.
And all I can think about right now is Jenna.
And how I should have given her my card.
She needs a friend. A healthy friend.
I wonder right now, what is she doing?
I almost want to show up next Sunday, no matter what. Get out of SELF and be a friend to someone who needs one.
I will try.
Because I think I need her as much as she needs a friend.
“Where is everyone?”
“I know, it’s odd. You’re the first. I made coffee, I think it’s too strong.”
“Coffee can never be too strong.”
And I’m still the only one in the laundromat, it is delightfully quiet and calm.
It’s already been a busy morning – nice to have this reprieve.
Let me start at the beginning.
Friday, yours truly got a raise. I was shocked and it couldn’t have come at a better time.
Oh, I STILL don’t have my car by the way – apparently the part, that is coming from New Hampshire, must be coming by carrier pigeon. A PCM is too heavy for a pigeon! Don’t they know that?
Yesterday my mom came over to collect myself and my honey to stay over at one of the local casinos and to see Pat Benatar in concert. My parents treat for us.
That woman can still sing. Not just sing, but she belted out all the favorites – nailing every one of them!
Her husband and guitarist Neil ‘Spyder’ Giraldo was just as amazing. Playing around with some Led Zeppelin licks in between songs. Getting the crowd pumped up.
His skills on the piano were just as great.
Other than laughing with those around us at drunk girl, who insisted on standing when NO ONE else was – of course, right in front of us see pic:
Anway, OTHER than that, my favorite part was the version they did of Promises in the Dark.
I’ll see if I can find it. Hang on.
There you go. And, coincidentally, she was wearing that exact outfit last night too.
I love that they threaded stories throughout the songs. I love the story behind Promises – it was the first song they actually wrote about their relationship.
When the lights came up, you could hear everyone agreeing that she still had her pipes and smiles were everywhere.
We headed in to find food.
Stood in a bonkers line for a burger and fries and headed up to the room.
Now, all this time, Butters was home alone. I waited until the last-minute to take her out before we left, and prayed she would ‘hold it’ like she is prone to do.
We got up at 6:30 this morning, threw clothes on and headed back to our pets.
Butters HAD held it – and was ecstatic to see us. Good girl!
So, after laundry, I’m up for a nap!
Here’s some view pics from our room.
Have a great Sunday everyone! I’ll be sipping my strong coffee and staring at an empty laundromat.